I think that the most important lessons I have learned throughout my life have arisen in the midst of the most difficult circumstances. This past week has proven to be no exception.
As Ashley and I were talking about our week, we also discussed the numerous emotions we experienced. At points I felt afraid, confused, scared, and even nervous. At other points, I felt excited, proud of our group, victorious, and I always felt joyful. The one emotion that never left was peace. I don't understand, but I know that last week, I never experienced feeling stressful, and I always had an underlying sense of peace.
Throughout this past week, I have learned one thing for sure...I am NOT in Hopkinton (or at Gordon) anymore. It has been proven to me that doors cannot be left unlocked, cars can not be left unwatched and material possessions can never go unguarded. When one of our groups was talking to the Fire Department and shared that we were staying in Anacostia, the firemen told us that they were nervous for us and that we needed to be careful. (Don't worry mom...I'm safe, I promise :)
The point is, for the first time in my life, I don't have a place that I can call 'home' and go to when I don't feel secure. I don't have a dorm room, or a house where I can leave things unguarded and trust that they will be there when I return. As this hit me, the Psalms came to my mind. As I browsed through the Psalms, Psalm 91 in particular resonated with me. Particularly the phrase: "The Lord is my refuge."
Reading through this passage, I was able to understand the Psalmist's perspective. The few verses that stuck out to me in particular were 2, 4, 7 and 8.
These passages show me that for this summer, I do not have a shelter where I am always secure. I don't have a family right next to me all the time, and that's hard. But, I DO have my God. As new obstacles arose daily, I promise to find my refuge in the Lord. And as I turned to him, he responded with a peace that surpassed my understanding. I watched bizarre, and awful things happen. Yet, in the midst of that, my God protected me. Although these things came near me, he never let me be touched. I am confident that my protection is a result of my obedience to be in DC this summer.
I can now say that I am confident that obstacles will come in an effort to scare me and halt the work that CSM is doing. I am also confident that when I turn to my God, he will bring me through these obstacles, and provide me with a peace that won't make sense. Psalm 91 promises me that danger will come near me if I am pursuing the work of the Lord. Psalm 91 also promises me that as this danger comes near me, it will not touch me, because I am living under a shadow of protection.
Being able to look back over this past week, I can say that I wouldn't trade my obstacles for the world, because they provided me with a joy that I have never experienced before. They refined me, and tested me. Despite it all, one thing that I can say with confidence, is that no matter where I am...The Lord is my refuge, in whom I trust :)
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