And My Refuge Is...

I think that the most important lessons I have learned throughout my life have arisen in the midst of the most difficult circumstances. This past week has proven to be no exception.

As Ashley and I were talking about our week, we also discussed the numerous emotions we experienced. At points I felt afraid, confused, scared, and even nervous. At other points, I felt excited, proud of our group, victorious, and I always felt joyful. The one emotion that never left was peace. I don't understand, but I know that last week, I never experienced feeling stressful, and I always had an underlying sense of peace.

Throughout this past week, I have learned one thing for sure...I am NOT in Hopkinton (or at Gordon) anymore. It has been proven to me that doors cannot be left unlocked, cars can not be left unwatched and material possessions can never go unguarded. When one of our groups was talking to the Fire Department and shared that we were staying in Anacostia, the firemen told us that they were nervous for us and that we needed to be careful. (Don't worry mom...I'm safe, I promise :)

The point is, for the first time in my life, I don't have a place that I can call 'home' and go to when I don't feel secure. I don't have a dorm room, or a house where I can leave things unguarded and trust that they will be there when I return. As this hit me, the Psalms came to my mind. As I browsed through the Psalms, Psalm 91 in particular resonated with me. Particularly the phrase: "The Lord is my refuge."

Reading through this passage, I was able to understand the Psalmist's perspective. The few verses that stuck out to me in particular were 2, 4, 7 and 8.

These passages show me that for this summer, I do not have a shelter where I am always secure. I don't have a family right next to me all the time, and that's hard. But, I DO have my God. As new obstacles arose daily, I promise to find my refuge in the Lord. And as I turned to him, he responded with a peace that surpassed my understanding. I watched bizarre, and awful things happen. Yet, in the midst of that, my God protected me. Although these things came near me, he never let me be touched. I am confident that my protection is a result of my obedience to be in DC this summer.

I can now say that I am confident that obstacles will come in an effort to scare me and halt the work that CSM is doing. I am also confident that when I turn to my God, he will bring me through these obstacles, and provide me with a peace that won't make sense. Psalm 91 promises me that danger will come near me if I am pursuing the work of the Lord. Psalm 91 also promises me that as this danger comes near me, it will not touch me, because I am living under a shadow of protection.

Being able to look back over this past week, I can say that I wouldn't trade my obstacles for the world, because they provided me with a joy that I have never experienced before. They refined me, and tested me. Despite it all, one thing that I can say with confidence, is that no matter where I am...The Lord is my refuge, in whom I trust :)

Bring It On

This week has been absolutely amazing. I have learned more lessons this week than I thought I would learn all summer. It has also been a series of unfortunate events. The crazy part is, I wouldn't have traded it for the world. Everything that happened was so bizarre that it was hysterical. Let me explain :)

Sunday-Before we had finished our orientation, our dinner got cancelled. CSM plans to bring groups to different ethnic restaurants every night they're here. We ended up at IHOP. To top it all of...we got lost on our prayer tour that night. My van ended up 45 minutes into Virginia.

Monday-We got stuck outside in (literal) downpours. While we were stuck outside, we got a call that we had no power at our apartment.

Tuesday-One of our work sites cancelled, so we found out our whole schedule had to be changed for Wednesday, but it wasn't anything we couldn't handle :)

Wednesday-One of our two 12 passenger vans was stolen. I'm not kidding. I ended up watching 10 high school kids while leaders figured insurance-issues out. While me and the 10 kids were standing on a street corner waiting to get picked up, our group witnessed a homeless man being beaten and mugged a couple feet away from us. Fortunately, by the grace of God, between these two incidents, no one was harmed and everyone was ok.

Thursday-I had to work on a farm. Enough said.

I wouldn't exchange this past week for the world. As each trial arose, I was able to watch the 'true colors' of our group, as well as my co-host come out. Everyone handled each obstacle with grace and patience. There were times where I felt shaken up, or nervous, but I never felt stressed, and I can fully credit my group with that. They were so wonderful.

My other blessing was that my Dad provided me with such strong words of encouragement. He patiently worked through all of my questions and answered any issues I had. I'll write more later...for now I'm tired. But at the very least, I can say that I learned two lessons.
1.) As dad said-"The more I let God work through me, the more God will work in me :)" and
2.) The Lord is absolutely my refuge, no matter where I am :)

My First Mix of Sociology and Jesus

On Tuesday, my group had volunteered at S.O.M.E (So Others Might Eat). SOME just might be my favorite ministry site. It is a site that 'meets the Immediate Needs of the poor, destitute and hungry.' They will provide anyone who shows up at their doors with a meal and a shower. They have other programs which include medical care, dentistry, counseling, rehabilitation, job-skills training and halfway housing. Their ultimate goal is to make the individuals who started out with immediate needs to be able to live on their own.

The reason that I respect SOME so much is because they demand respect from their clients, they work hard and run on a rigid schedule. They keep a clean environment and their attitudes are amazing. In return, they expect to be respected by the people that they serve. At times, they may seem 'too uptight.' They regulate portions, and are efficient. But, when they demand respect, it pays off. A lot of the staff that now works full time at SOME are graduates of their programs who, at one time had immediate needs that needed to be met. It's so cool to see that as SOME gives to these people, they in turn give back.

The day after we served at SOME, we served at a soup kitchen that provides meals to women in need of food. At this kitchen, their work is also amazing and their employees are incredible. The biggest difference that I noticed between this second site and SOME is that the second site went above and beyond to personally cater to the woman in their site. They took individual requests for their food, and always provided more than the women asked for.

Both of these sites are ministries in the city, but what do they have to do with sociology?

During our training, the President gave us a training session on how to help break the cycle of poverty while assisting the economically challenged, rather than to just provide food for a meal. One of the ways that he went about this was by giving us an example of a sociological idea that we could put into practice. It's something like this. If one person provides a second person with a gift, they have a relationship. BUT, once the first person provides the second person with a second gift, and expects nothing in return, the relationship is unbalanced, and creating a level of equality is (almost) impossible. The point behind it, is that if all we do is continually give, we create an unequal relationship. It automatically places 'us' at a higher level than 'them.' It makes those we are aiding (even though our intentions may be pure) think that they have nothing that they can give us that would be of equal value to whatever we are giving them.

It was fascinating to me to watch this play out. At SOME, they demand something in return from those they aid. They demand respect, cooperation and a certain level on conduct. As they build a relationship with these people, a lot of them come back to work for SOME and are crucial to their organization. At the other site, where much was given, and nothing was expected, it was seen in the attitudes of the people. They became picky, irritable and demanding in regards to what they were given. Not all of them were like this, but a substantial amount were.

It was a great reminder to me. It made me realize that as I go about my job this summer, I need to be receiving as much as I am giving. I need to listen to the stories of the individuals I meet, and I need to learn from them. I need to take what they have to give me, as they receive my gifts as well. They may not have material goods to give me, but a lot of them have life experiences that I don't have. And sometimes, those are even more priceless than any tangible gifts I could provide. If I can keep myself in check, I know I will be able to create relationships that can last for a lifetime.

A Memory of Dory the Fish

The first site that we worked at was a geriatric day care called Downtown Cluster. Downtown Cluster was formed around 20 years ago when the local church saw that the elderly in DC were being neglected. This site is wonderful, and provides entertainment, activities and workshops to Senior Citizens who daily attend their program.

One of the unique parts of Downtown Cluster is that it has a special program called 'The A-Team' (kind of like the movie...but they claim to have had dibs first). The A-Team works with Senior Citizens enrolled with the Downtown Cluster who struggle with Alzheimers. They do simple tasks with them, in an attempt to stimulate their brains and temporarily fight off the disease. It doesn't work permanently. On Monday, our teams task was to simply engage the adults with Alzheimers in conversation and make puzzles with them.

While we were at Downtown Cluster, half of our group left with the A-Team to go to a separate room and work with these adults. I stayed in the main room with the other half. Even though I wasn't able to work with the A-Team hands on, I was still able to have a few casual conversations with them throughout the morning. It really helped me to understand the severity of Alzheimers. I understood the concept of a 10 minute memory as I watched one unfold in front of me.

It was also at Downtown Cluster that I had my big 'teaching moment' of the day. One of the students that we brought with us was named Aaron, and he's an unbelievable pianist. Downtown Cluster had a piano in their main room, and Aaron quickly become a fan-favorite as he played Mozart and Beethoven for the adults by memory. As we were leaving, there was a request that Aaron play one more song as the rest of the group sang along. The song that was requested as the hymn, "All Creatures of Our God and King."

As our group sang, and Aaron played the piano, I was all of a sudden amazed. One of the women on the A-Team, who I had seen clearly struggling with Alzheimers was able to recite every lyric to this hymn from the first word to the last. I got goosebumps all over my arms as I realized that this woman must have so embedded these lyrics into her memory, that despite a disease (literally) eating away her memory, she was able to recite this song as it played for her.

As I was walking out of Downtown Cluster, having watched this woman sing along to an old hymn, I was struck with a question. What is so important to me, and so embedded in my memory that, if I were to have Alzheimers, I would still be able to recall? There is no scientific explanation that I know of that can explain why this woman could remember the lyrics to a hymn when she couldn't recall what she ate for breakfast. The only explanation that I could come up with is that this song, and the meaning behind it, were so important to her, that she remembered.

That morning, I had read Phillipians 2 as my devotions. This is a passage that I read regularly throughout my last semester, and put a high value in. My challenge to myself after experiencing the Downtown Cluster is to take what I place as having 'high value' and to embed it so far into my memory, that if I were to be in the A-Team's position one day, I would still be able to recall a passage such as Phillipians 2...because it means that much to me :)

Welcome to Kansas City

I finally have internet! I only have it for a couple of hours, so I'll see how much I can blog and gather myself in that amount of time :) For my own sake, I'll start off by introducing my first group to the blog :)

My group is made up of 22 adults and students from right outside of Kansas City. They came to CSM on Sunday night, and I unfortunately have to say goodbye to them tomorrow morning. This week, we're staying at a church in Southeast called Anacostia Gospel, and so far I have no complaints :) The difficult part has been no internet, but even that has made me focus on my time here with the group so it has been nice :)

This group is made of 11 boys and 7 girls with 4 leaders. The aspect of them that I have appreciated the most is that they get along better than most groups I will work with this summer. They each come from hard backgrounds, and you would NEVER know it by the way that they live their lives. They are joyful, loud and full of life. They are serious about serving, but filled with youth and I love each of them so much. I'm so sad I'm going to have to say bye to them.

We started this week out by volunteering at "The Downtown Cluster." It is a geriatric daycare. Half of the kids volunteered in the common lounge, and the other half went and worked specifically with older people struggling with Alzeihemers. The kids handled it so well, and I was so proud of them. Since then, we have volunteered at S.O.M.E (serving breakfast at 7 am...yes, I was exhausted :), gone on a prayer walk down H St, an area facing gentrification, worked at St. Thomas More visiting individuals in rehabilitation, volunteered at World Vision DC and prepared food at Thrive, an organization empowering women who have been in difficult life circumstances. Our week wound down by volunteering on a farm in Maryland and doing an Urban Plunge where the group is divided into groups and forced to face homelessness heads-on.

On top of this busy schedule, we have eaten at a Middle Eastern Restaurant, the famous Ben's Chili Bown, a Jamaican Restaurant, and IHOP :)

I have more blogs coming with lessons I've learned from this past week. Trust me...there's a LOT, but for now, I just wanted to remind myself of the basic sites we've been able to visit over the past 4 days :)

"BRB...Be right back :)"

This next week, starting tomorrow (Sunday night) through Friday morning, I will sadly not have any internet access. Detox will definitely be happening, and I might feel some strong withdrawals. I will be hosting a group at a different location, where there is no wi-fi. Because of this, I unfortunately won't be able to update my blog daily. I will still type up entries for myself on Microsoft Word and post them at the end of the week when I get internet again. But, until then, I won't be able to access my blog.

The good news...is that starting Friday night, my posting will be able to resume, and I will be back to the daily blogs :)

Until Friday...Enjoy your week! Love, Steph

Coffee and Jesus...A Church Dream Come True...

I found my family’s dream come true. Tonight, I went to church in the basement of a coffee shop. It was likely the closest location to heaven on Earth that I will come across. The coffee shop is called Ebenezer’s. It’s located right next to Union Station making it easily accessible. Down in the basement is the National Community Church pastured by Mark Batterson…which is where I attended tonight : )

The whole service was great, and I’m excited to go back there on future Saturdays. Rather than provide a play-by-play, I’d rather remember a specific point that was made in the sermon.

The context comes from 2 Corinthians 13:5. The verse is: “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?”

The course of the sermon was a dissection of this verse. The part that resonated with me most strongly was the dissection of the first section of this verse. As the Pastor was speaking of the ‘examine yourselves’ section, he made a reference to James 1:23-25, when James speaks of the Bible as being a mirror.

To be honest, at first, I had NO idea what he was talking about. He said that we should use the Bible as a mirror to ourselves, so that our reflection is that of the word of God. I was so confused. However, as he went on to explain himself, this concept of the ‘mirror’ became my favorite point in the sermon.

As we live out our daily lives, we reflect what is around us in our actions, words and mentality, whether we know it or not. It may be our hometown, our jobs, or the influence of the relationships we value. These factors will automatically influence our choices, our words and our attitudes. We will always reflect ‘something.’ The question that 2 Corinthians 13:5 prompts is, ‘What will my reflection show?’

James tells us that our reflection should show that we are learning and understanding the Bible. This should be the basis for our actions, choices, words and attitudes. As a result of this question, my goal for the next week is to keep Colossians 3:2-3 in mind. It’s a start. I’m thinking that if I can spend this next week keeping my mind of the things above, with my life hidden in the shadow of Christ, hopefully my actions can start to reflect the virtues of this passage. I can’t promise a success, and I can’t promise I won’t slip up. But I can promise that I will be proactive in trying to change my reflection so that when I look in the mirror, I see the Bible being lived out through me over any other influences.