Broken and Blameless

Last night, to wind down my week with Texas, I had to think of a 'topic' for the debrief we were going to have. I was starting to worry. I was afraid that I didn't have a good way to wind down our week in a way that would challenge them as they went home. It became even more complicated when I realized I wanted to challenge them, yet still let them see how proud I was of the work they'd done.

I started thinking about James 1:27. This is not an unfamiliar verse to me. My family, and my church have talked about this verse while I was growing up. It states, 'Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.'

As I was thinking through this verse, I was also thinking about how I would define my group. I loved the Texas group. I got along with them exceptionally well. Our personalities matched perfectly, and I looked forward to working with them every day. Because we got along so well, I also got to know them better than the other groups I have had. The more I got to know them, the more I saw how broken they really were.

Each person that I spoke with, and got to know better showed me a side of brokenness that they held inside. Whether it was a physical brokenness, like 4 concussions, poor choices made in dating relationships, or issues of pride, this group made themselves vulnerable to me.

As I was taking the time to reflect on my group, I had two realizations. I realized that I fit right in. I have my mistakes, my history and my own issues that I struggle with. I also realized that James 1:27 was the perfect was for us to close our week together.

What James 1:27 showed Texas and I, is that despite all of our brokenness (and trust me, there was a lot), when we were working together last week, we were pure and blameless.

This verse doesn't promise that when we serve others we are cleansed of our own personal histories, mistakes and issues. It doesn't say that accepting Jesus as my savior means that I start out with a clean slate. But, it DOES mean that when I bring my broken self to God and say, 'put me to work,' as long as I am working in the name of God and practicing THAT sort of religion, I am pure and faultless.

As I was sharing this with the group, it was so cool to come to this understanding together. We realized that last week, as we devoted each day to looking after the orphans and the widows, and doing our best to keep ourselves from being polluted by the world, we spent a week as broken people, who at the same time, were pure and faultless. That's an irony that only our God could allow to happen :)

I'm Sorry If You Think I'm Rude But...

My group this week is from Texas. They're awesome. I wasn't sure what to expect out of a small, baptist youth group from Texas. In fact, I was a bit nervous. So far, they have only broken stereotypes and surprised me.

Last night, we did our prayer tour. It's the first activity that we do with our groups every week as they arrive. It's a 2 hour drive around DC, where they are able to see every aspect of the city. They see the monuments, the government buildings, the ritzy neighbors, embassy row, and the poorer areas of the city. The point of this tour is for them to be able to understand the stark contrasts in the city.

Our tour last night ended in Anacostia. Anacostia is the predominant neighborhood in Southeast, the section of the city that I have blogged about before. Southeast struggles with crime, poverty and a reputation as 'an area not to go to.'

As we were outside of a Black, Catholic church in Anacostia that overlooks downtown DC, my group heard something that sounded similar to gunshots. They then watched a couple cops with their sirens drive past the church we were standing outside of. I'm not convinced that that is what the sound was. There had been fireworks going on earlier, and I haven't been near gunshots before, so it doesn't seem to be the origin of the sound. Regardless, my groups imagination went wild, assumptions were made, and they were shaken up.

Another area that we drove by on our tour was K Street. K Street is a predominant location for the sex-trafficking industry in DC. It's interesting because K Street is located in the financial district, near a lot of the upscale restaurants in the city. It is the same place where a lot of powerful people will dine regularly. It is seems a bit 'ironic' that one of the streets in DC with a lot of upscale restaurants also struggles with sex trafficking.

During our debrief tonight, the youth group leaders and I were asking the kids about what had shaken them up, what had opened their eyes, and what they were glad that they saw during our tour. A large emphasis was placed on the 'gunshots' that were heard. After awhile, it became a bit repetitive and redundant.

Finally, one girl stepped up and prefaced her statement with, "I'm sorry if you think I'm rude but..."

Before I go on, I have to say. Her honesty was so appreciated. What she had to say was straight from her heart, it was on target, and it was genuine. The way she spoke was a reminder of how to go about accountability in a gentle, but firm way.

She went on to tell the group that she essentially thought that their focus, and their priorities were wrong. She said that she heard them speaking about their fear of these 'gunshots' rather than their fear of the well-being of the city that they were called to love this week. She explained that a lot of the things that the group was saying troubled them, had to do with their own well-being. She went on to remind them that, this week, they are not in DC for their own well being. They are hear to met the needs of the neighborhood of Anacostia. She also reminded them that, if they stopped speaking of their fear of safety, and started worrying about the people they were called to serve, their need for safety would be met in that process.

This girl was exceptional in her understanding as to why she is here this week. The best part about her reminder was that, as soon as she was done speaking, the group got it. They understood that they needed to stop thinking about themselves, and they had to start thinking about the people of DC, and the poverty they are living in. The youth group is here to try and meet the emergency needs of the poor, destitute and homeless.

I'm so excited to work with this group. Their work ethic is awesome, they have a GREAT sense of humor, and they know why they're here. To top it off, they are already reminding me why I am here, and they are helping to keep my priorities straight. It's gonna be a good week :)

Home Is Where the Heart Is

This morning, on my way back from church, I decided that the phrase "Home is where the heart is" is a serious point of conflict for me right now.

Since I have gotten to DC, I've made two observations about this phrase, and how it relates to my life.
1.) I wish my family was here to experience this summer with me. My heart is with my family, and it would be so cool if my 'home' could be here to see DC the way that I am able to see it this summer.
2.) The more I'm getting plugged into DC, it's landscape, the staff I'm working with, and the church I'm attending, the more I'm realizing that my heart is also with the city of DC.

This creates a serious dilemma. The picture of my family and I that I posted is also kept in my room, as a part of a care package that my mom sent to me. When I opened up the pictures that she mailed to me, my first instinct was to share all of the pictures with anyone in the room. I love my family and am so proud to show them off. Seeing pictures of the times I have spent with them puts a smile on my face, and it is a great reminder of how my heart truly is with them, no matter what part of the country I'm in.

The picture of the Washington Monument was taken from my phone last night. I was standing at the bus stop, waiting for my bus to arrive and looked up to see this view. As I saw it, I stood in awe. I don't think I'm going to get sick of seeing the beauty that exists in this city. Whether it is the kindness of the people, the architecture in the apartments, or the monuments that testify to the history of our country, I am continually placed in a state of amazement as I observe my surroundings.

I don't have a solution as to where 'home' is right now. I know that my heart is with my family. My heart is with DC, and my heart is also with God. He has been my bridge to allow these two worlds to collide. I guess if I were to take this phrase literally, my home is not a stable building. I'm a bit of a drifter at the moment. But, my heart is resting with the people that matter most to me. Whether it is my family and friends back north, or the people in this city, and it is always resting with my God. And for right now, I wouldn't have it any other way :)

A Visit From a Friend :)

The picture on the left is a picture of Cami, with her husband Stefan, and their two kids, Micah and Mandy. I creeped this picture off her facebook page :) Cami plays a lot of roles in my life. She is first and foremost a wonderful friend to me. She is also a role model. She is an R.D at Gordon, but not my R.D. When I am at school, she substitutes as a sort of second-mom to me until I get to be around my mom. She gives the best hugs. This summer, she agreed to sign up to mentor to me while I am here at CSM, meaning that she has committed to pray for me and check up on me throughout the summer.

Cami and I met because of the Lacrosse team. It's a long story, but it is very clear that our friendship was designed by God. During this past season, Cami and I began to know each other better as the season progressed and we were at each game together. Throughout the spring semester, we began to meet weekly to pray for the team, and as this weekly prayer progressed, so did our friendship. Cami has been wonderful in showing me how to love people without hesitating. While I am at school, her family welcomes me with open arms. Stefan is wonderful, and I adore her two kids.

They are currently taking a 6 week roadtrip around the USA. Yes, they are crazy. As part of their trip, they stopped by DC for the afternoon to say hi. We were able to go to dinner at Ruby Tuesdays, grab Frozen Yogurt, and have a drive-through tour of the city.

I don't have a huge lesson for this blog post, to share what I learned. I just want to be able to remember, as I read these posts at the end of the summer, about the wonderful afternoon I had today. Cami did not have to stop by DC. But, her taking a couple of hours to say Hi to me will carry much further than a couple of hours. The effort she put in will last as I return to school and get excited to see her family again.

All in all, today was a great day, and I feel very rested. I got to talk to Josh for a little bit on my bus ride back from downtown to the Church, and it made me miss home, in a good way :) Tonight, I get to rest and watch Invictus with the rest of the staff, and I'm looking forward to it, until church in the morning :) Sweet dreams!