Monday, June 6

Past the Point of No Return

There is a girl I know from Gordon who has an internship in DC (I'm not 'hypothetically talking about myself'). She is interning with a lobbying firm downtown, a block away from K Street, lives in a cute apartment near one of the 'up and coming' neighborhoods and has already found all the hotspots to visit for young adults our age in the city, specifically DuPont Circle. When I met up with her the other day, I couldn't help but thinking that she was 'doing it right.' She's living the life in DC, and it looks so successful to everyone around us...including the people at Gordon.

Then, there's me. I'm living in a rundown church, in an overcrowded space with 7 strangers. I'm going to be lucky if I shower once a day and will be surrounded by 13-18 year olds 24 hours a day, 6 days a week. My favorite people to talk to are homeless, and I can list most statistics anyone may want to know about gentrification in the nations capital. The housing site I hope to live in is located in the neighborhood that has the highest crime rate in DC.

BUT...there's moment's like today where I realize that I wouldn't trade anything about my summer for the world. As we were practicing the prayer tour today, something clicked in me. One of the first neighborhoods we drive through in the prayer tour is DuPont circle. Last summer, there was a man I loved to visit at one of our soup kitchens called Charlie's Place. His name was Champ, he's in his late 60's and used to teach me how to cook because he was a chef for 30 years before he became homeless. When I drive through DuPont, I always think of Champ, and I always look at Charlie's Place.

The next neighborhood we drive through is a street downtown called K Street. K Street is known for two things. It is where most of the lobbying in DC takes place. It is also a street that is known throughout the east coast for it's sex-trafficking. People have been known to drive from hours away to participate in the underground trafficking that takes place on K Street. Because of the Prayer Tour, I have come to consider K Street and sex-trafficking as synonymous.

Where am I going with this? The girl from my school is essentially living 'the life' and becoming successful. She has plans to stay in DC, live here and continue with the track she's on. She will most likely get a job with the lobbying firm she's working for and end up achieving the goals she has set for herself. Part of me, if I'm being completely honest, can't help but be jealous. That life has the clothes, the house, the money and the lifestyle. Why wouldn't I want that?

THEN...there's a side of me that reminds me that I can't ignore the knowledge I have gained through CSM. Even if I were to work in a lobbying firm, I would never be able to enjoy it with the innocence of not knowing about K St. Even if I were to go out every weekend at DuPont Circle, I would always wonder if I was walking by Champ. Now that I have this knowledge and wisdom from CSM, I can never act or live like I don't know it. If I'm being (again) completely honest with myself, as much as part of me wishes I could live the high life in DC, I wouldn't trade what I have. Even if I am living with teens all summer, I am praying for K Street and I'm not showering, I wouldn't trade it, because with that knowledge comes experiences and relationships that I could never have if I wasn't working for CSM.

So, what have I learned? I love my job, and although it doesn't look glamorous, I wouldn't trade it for the world because what I have learned has impacted me so deeply that I can't ignore it or ever live the way I did before this job.