On the upper right hand corner of Ebenezer Coffehouses's sleeves for their coffee mugs are four letters: SFSG. One of the founders of Ebenezer's, Mark Batterson (MB) tells a story about how the coffeehouse came to be. The story is essentially a miraculous testament to the faithfulness of God, but very long and I won't get into the nitty gritty details. At one of the meetings when the property was being purchased, there was a certain individual present. This individual had criticized MB before about interweaving his faith with the coffeehouse. At the meeting, there was a compliment given about the new property, and because this individual was present, instead of MB giving the glory to God, he took the glory for himself and replied with 'thank you.' He was convicted afterwards and decided that from that point out, he would always give the glory to God, with the SFSG standing for 'So far, so God' on their coffee mugs as a visual reminder to that commitment.
In case the tone of this blog hasn't already successfully communicated where I'm at this summer, let me explain. This summer, I am being consistently reminded of how broken and unsuited I am for this job. I've been distracted easily. My health is reminding me I'm not physically prepared for this job. I'm tired. I feel like my groups have more to offer my spiritually than I have to offer them...the list of my flaws goes on.
On the flip side, as I feel like I'm slowly falling apart, I am continually being complimented and praised by everyone around me. My groups keep encouraging me. My family has gone above and beyond to support me. Tonight, two of my staff members read me a passage from the Bible and told me that they believe that God has used me in their lives this summer to speak wisdom to them. You get the picture. From my perspective, each of these groups could not be less accurate. Yet somehow, I continue to say 'thank you' everytime I get a compliment...despite being acutely aware of how much I do NOT deserve to take the glory.
At first, I was soaking up any compliments I had. It was almost as if I thought that each time I absorbed a compliment, it would work to hide a flaw I was aware I had...because the good always outweighs the bad, right? However, I hit my tipping point. I reached the point this summer where God made it abundantly clear how 'human' I really am. He has continually reminded me that I am flawed and He is God. Recently, I have begun to try and take the compliments I have received to spin into mini ways to praise God for using someone as broken as me to be able to deliver and share His love.
I'm not saying I'm perfect, or that I haven't slipped and said thank you as I have been complimented. All I'm saying is that each time I have received a compliment and in turn responded by saying how it was God used me has only served to testify how great He is to me. I consider myself to be a huge mistake-maker who is not aware of anything going on around me. So, when my staff complimented me tonight on my wisdom, and I turned it to the Lord, it only proved how great He is. I could never deliver the words they were speaking of from my brain. However, God can not only deliver them, He can deliver them through me...as broken beat down and unwise as I truly am. The fact that He can do that speaks so highly of His character and vast greatness that I (yet again), can't help but be in awe of Him. So, thanks God...you are good :)
