The Washington Monument and The Bureau of Engravings

Last week, my family came to visit me in DC. It was easily one of the biggest highlights of my summer. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I actually saw them. While they were here, my CSM staff was amazingly gracious. They did everything they could to let me spend as much time as possible with my family, and I am so grateful to them for that.

On the Friday afternoon that Mom, Dad, Bekah and Matthew were here, Rita and Ashley were particularly gracious to me. Ashley and I were co-hosting and were scheduled to be at a VBS site in the afternoon. Instead, Rita substituted that 'shift' (even though it's really not a shift because I LOVE my job) for me so that I could go and hang out with my family.

While I was with my family, we decided to do the 'tourist thing.' Dad was awesome and woke up really early to get us tickets to the Washington Monument, as well as the Bureau of Engravings. I have been to the Bureau of Engravings before, but this was my first venture into the Washington Monument.

As we took the elevator up the 555 feet to the top of the Washington Monument, I was antsy to see the view, to say the least. Once we were at the top, the whole family played out each of our personalities to a T. Mom got off the elevator to go and take some incredible pictures. Once she was done, she patiently waited for the rest of us at the elevator as we mozied around. Dad floated between Bekah, Matthew and I and was able to explain those little details that nobody remembers, but everyone loves to know. He is an endless fountain of trivia. Matthew stuck around with me and we talked and looked over the whole city.

When Matthew and I were looking around, he patiently listened as I told him all of the buildings I saw. As I was talking to Matthew, I realized that buildings that I were pointing out. I wasn't showing Matthew the Capitol, the White House, or the Smithsonians. I acknowledged them, but I didn't spend time dwelling on them in my observations. I pointed out Anacostia to him. I also showed him Saint Elizabeths (the retired mental institution in South East). I showed him where I go to church every week. I also showed him a couple of the ministry sites I work at with my groups.

Later that night, when I was thinking about the view that I had seen earlier that day, I realized that I actually SEE the city differently, and my time at the monument symbolized it perfectly. When I thought of DC in the beginning of the summer, I saw the White House, the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial, the Capitol Building and Capitol Hill. Now that I live here, and have formed relationships, it is the people that I see instead of the buildings. I see Anacostia because that is where Jawan, Travan, G, Faith, Destiny, Raven, Marvin, and Alex all live. I see Saint Elizabeths because it is across the street from my favorite housing site. And I see our ministry locations because those are the places that offer smiles to me that make my days better.

It is nothing against tourism. If anything, it is only a change in myself. But, this change is a change I wouldn't trade for the world. I love these places because they are so filled with life. And they are filled to the point that they overflow and have changed me enough that I will never see this city the same again :)

Junior High and Esther

One morning, I decided to do my devotions from the book of Esther. It was a little bit random, but I couldn't resist. When I was growing up, Esther was my absolute favorite personality from the Bible. I have always been drawn to Esther. I never tire of reading about Esther, her boldness, her strength and her silent courage. Because of this interest in Esther, I decided that I really wanted to read the story of Esther as a replacement to my regular devotions. I did not think that it would be very applicable to my day, but I went ahead with it anyway.

As I was reading, one verse in particular stuck out to me. Ester 2:20 says, "But Esther had kept secret her family background and nationality just as Mordecai had told her to do, for she continued to follow Mordecai's instructions as she had done when he was bringing her up."

When I typically think of Esther, I think of a beautiful Queen who got body massages, pedicures and spoke out to a King. I picture a hero, and the type of woman who walks into a room and everyone thinks 'wow.'

I don't typically think of Esther the way this verse describes her. This verse describes a woman who stripped herself of her identity so that she could become blended into a culture and she could show God's name, instead of hers.

As I was thinking about it, I realized that for Esther to live out God's plan, she had to strip herself of every identifying factor that she had previously used to represent herself. This verse demonstrates that Esther lost her culture, her religion, her name and her family in order to assume this position as Queen. If this were to happen today, she would be seen as crazy. But, clearly God knew what he was doing.

Because of this, I challenged my Long Island group to do the same. I challenged them that as they were serving that week, to strip themselves of their religion, their names, their culture and their families in order to not restrict God's plan. I told them to be willing to just serve as they walked in the middle of God's love. As they took on this challenge, they slowly understood. They began to serve throughout the whole week glorifying God because they had assumed his identity, as they slowly stripped themselves of their own. The more they did this, the more they understood the true reason of why they were here.

Needless to say, it was such a cool lesson, and it was even cooler to learn it from 'just a bunch of Junior High-ers :)'

Long Island and Junior High

This picture was my group from two weeks ago. Before they came, I knew two things about them. They were from Long Island, and they were Junior High kids. To say I was reluctant to be excited is a bit of an understatement. To top it all of, I knew that I was going to be staying with them in Anacostia. In any normal, rational person's mind, this would spell out out a recipe for disaster.

To say my group rose above and beyond my expectations would be a gross understatement. They were absolutely incredible. They pushed through their week with a determination that even I could not match. They were strong, grounded in their faith and so much fun. Not to get ahead of myself...there were a couple of times I thought about purposefully leaving a Junior High-er at a ministry site. But, they were amazing. I can go into more details on how incredible they were in a separate post. But for now, let me settle with: God and Junior Highers makes a GREAT combination.

I'm BACK! :)

I am very aware that I have (epically) failed at blogging for the past two weeks. I'm also aware that two weeks, when I'm only in DC for about 12, is a VERY large percentage of my time here that I have neglected to write down. Because of that, I am going to attempt to do some very intense catch-up.

I have not had internet for the past two weeks. And other than not being able to blog, it has been a huge blessing. I have loved the freedom that has come from not being able to waste hours on facebook. Not to sound too much like a mom, or a hippie, but it's been very nice :)

So, bare with me as I tackle the past two weeks. I'll try my best to hit on my high points, and record the things I want to remember for my own memories sake. :)

How Awesome is this Staff?

Because we didn't have groups this past week, Ashley and I decided that we were going to support the staff. We decided that we would take our time off to encourage the staff that was here. Each night, we got them a cheesy little gift, and a note with a Bible verse to encourage them.

I promise I'm not saying this to brag. I'm saying it to boast about Ashley. One night, we decided to buy candy for everyone. We then made cheesy puns out of the candy that could be connected to a Bible Verse. An example? We got a Hershey's Chocolate Bar for Brenda and encouraged her in 'setting the bar' for her group.

The picture on the left is a picture of the encouragement that Ashley surprised me with. It's a bag of Hershey's kisses. Here's the note that she attached to it:

"So, I promised you that I would find you a verse to go with the candy that you 'allowed' me to buy for you...

'Serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling. KISS the Son, lest he be angry and you be destroyed in your way, for his wrath can flare up in a moment. Blessed are all who take refuge in him.' Psalm 2:11-12

'Surely his salvation is near those who fear him, that his glory may dwell in our land. Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace KISS each other. Faithfulness springs forth from the earth, and righteousness looks down from heaven. The Lord will indeed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest. Righteousness goes before him and prepares the way for his steps' Pslam 85:9-13.

'An honest answer is like a KISS on the lips' Proverbs 24:26

'Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies KISSES' Proverbs 27:6

'Greet one another with a holy KISS' 2 Corinthians 13:12

You should be very thankful that I skipped over Song of Songs :)

But really...this is the verse I was thinking of when I bought the kisses this evening...

'For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the meaure of all the fullness of God" Ephesians 3:14-19

I know that the verse doesn't actually use the word KISS but since a KISS is an expression of love and this passage is Paul's prayer for the Ephesians and it's all about God's incredible love for us, I figured it fits :)

Also, this is my reminder to you that not only does Jesus love you beyond your wildest imagination, but I love you too - although I will only give you candy kisses

Ashley"

The reason I shared this note is because it was such a blessing to me. Ashley took the time to write me an encouraging note to remind me that I am loved. And I appreciated it more than I can express. I am so thankful for her willingness to encourage me and help strengthen me in my faith. She allowed God to use her to remind me that I am loved by my God. My hope is that anyone else who can read what she shared with me, can also be reminded that they are loved :) I also couldn't help but brag about what a great friend I have found, who I am lucky enough to work with as well :)

Justification, Redemption and This Summer

This past spring, our church did a sermon series called Crosswords. It was a series that delved into some of the 'fancy church words' surrounding the crucifixion. It was one of my favorite sermon series that our church has done. The words we tackled in this series were, "Word" "Redemption" "Reconciliation" "Justification" "Sanctification" and "Propitiation." Because I appreciated this series, I decided to listen to it again this past week. So far, I have only listened to Redemption and Justification.

The first word we (Ashley and I) listened to was justification. In the Justification sermon, the first point my Dad emphasizes is that in order for Justification to become a tangible and successful concept, God must be constant. Because of this, His morals are constant throughout time, and his judgment is unchanging. His standards don't ever change.

The next word we listened to was redemption. In the redemption sermon, there was a point that stuck out very clearly to me. Dad gave an example of the 'Debtors Prison' that existed during Charles Dicken's time. This was an awful institution in which members of society living in debt were imprisoned because they owed money. The dilemma is that individuals were sent to prison because they were in debt, yet they could not pay off their debt because they were in prison.

The debtors prison was a cycle in which despair succeeded and hope was lost for the people living in this institution. As I was hearing Dad describe the debtors prison, it began to sound oddly familiar to me. It slowly dawned on me that the homeless population that I am learning to love is modern day equivalent to the debtors prison. They are trapped in an institution that is bound to the cycle of poverty, and is almost impossible to break. Just as it was easy to make a quick mistake and be in debt, then thrown in prison, the same can be spoken on in reference to homelessness.

The fact that this broken downward cycle of poverty is still the same in our modern day society, just as it existed in Charles Dickens day is depressing, to say the least. But...there's a positive side as well :)

This cycle of poverty has continued throughout a long period of time, and has remained consistent. On the flip side, just like the justification sermon states, our God has continued throughout a long period of time, and has remained consistent as well. As I was thinking through this, I was so encouraged. At times, when I am talking to people who are broken and destitute, it can be a temptation to be very discouraged. But, I am so encouraged in knowing that as long as there is this cycle of brokenness, there is always going to be my God on the other side. He will always work as a balance to the brokenness that exists, because he is constant. Because of that, I know that I can go about my days knowing that just as he always has, my God will always continue to be there to balance out the brokenness :)

Welcome to My Mind

For anyone that has been reading my blog...I apologize ahead of time for this post. I don't have any 'deep thoughts' or observations to record and share today. I had originally intended for this blog to be a sort of online journal, where I could sort out my thoughts...which is what I will do today :) If you care to venture into my mind with me, and are brave enough to try to follow my train of thoughts, I have to give you the appropriate kudos.

For my devotions today, I read Exodus 33:12-20. I didn't have any sort of pre-written devotional to guide me through this time. To begin, I was interested in reading a passage that demonstrated a biblical figure who struggled with following the ways of the Lord. When I looked in the index, I discovered this passage in Exodus. It was nothing complicated. This passage just seemed to be a small passage that I could read, pray over and (attempt to) learn from.

Before I share what I learned, let me provide a background to where I was coming from, for my own memories sake. Anyone that knows me, know that I have ALWAYS loved the idea of marriage. Ever since I was little, I have always wanted to be married and be a wife. I know how stereotypical, 'christian-girl' this sounds. Regardless of whether I am only fueling the stereotype or not, I can always remember wanting to be married. Yes, I dream about my wedding day. Even more than my wedding day, I dream about the regularity of marriage. I know that marriage is difficult, complicated, hard and tiring. Yes, for some reason, I can't resist the desire to be married. I can not wait to find 'that person' and to have someone to share my every day with. That deep friendship, partnership and comradery is something that I have always looked forward to.

The flip side to this is that it carries with it my biggest fear. This may sound shallow, but my biggest fear is that there isn't going to be anyone who will want to love me. In every other area of my life, I have always been able to trust that God will provide. For some reason, I still have this underlying fear that I will be left by myself.

I typically do not share this fear because I feel young and quite frankly, stupid vocalizing this fear. The reason I am thinking about it now is because one of the interns at a ministry site that CSM partners with has recently started calling me out. I never spoke of this fear to anyone on staff, and most certainly not this intern. Yet, as I worked with them every day last week they persisted in approaching me and telling me that they 'felt I was afraid of not finding someone who would love me.' I'm still not sure how I feel...to be honest, it creeped me out a little. And despite my efforts to dismiss them, or tell them they were crazy, they persisted. At the very least, I caved in and agreed to at least think through this fear.

With this basis, I read Exodus 33. It is aptly titled "Moses and the Glory of the LORD." In this selection, the verses that resonated with me were 12-14. In 12, Moses is having a discussion with the Lord. He speaks to the Lord and vocalizes that he is troubled because he knows that he has found favor with the Lord. Despite this favor, he still does not know who the Lord wants to send with Moses on his journey. In verse 14, the Lord responds by saying that "My Presence will go with you and I will give you rest"

This verse may not sound like a clear cut answer to my fear. Yet, it addressed my fears enough that I can comfortably say that I have peace. Right now, I do not know when I will date. The only thing I know for sure is that I am supposed to be in DC. Yet, I can relate with Moses enough that I am brought peace. I know that I am living in the plans the Lord has carved for my life. I know that everyday, I am intentionally pursuing a relationship with my God. I am also sure that God knows the desires he has placed in my heart. Because he is a loving God, he will not deny me those desires, he will just let them happen in his timing. The Lord's presence will go with me. I am confident of that. And just as Moses showed that the Lords presence was his rest, I can live confidently knowing that the Lord's presence is my rest as well.