Lessons From a Homeless Couple

Right before some of our staff started to leave this summer, we went out for a great dinner in Chinatown to celebrate our time together as a group before our summer closed down. We all understood that it was one of our last times together, and halfway through our dinner we wound up playing 'Remember when...'

In remember when, we reminisced on our best memories of our 3 months in DC. Halfway through this dinner, we all ended up laughing as we recalled the absurd events (stolen vans?) that we had survived this past summer. It was a great way for me to recall memories I had forgotten. Because it was so helpful, I have found myself playing it frequently since I've gotten home. Let me share an example of an event this summer I just 'remembered when...'

One of the last sites I got to serve at was S.O.M.E (so others might eat). I loved S.O.M.E and have blogged about it before because it was so influential in shaping my perspective on homelessness. The last lesson that S.O.M.E taught me came from a homeless couple who I met while they were eating breakfast together.

As we were cleaning, I couldn't help but notice this specific couple. They both had grey hair and I couldn't help but notice that they were more concerned with looking at each other than they were with eating the food placed in front of them. There was something about the way that they looked at each other that made me feel like I was invading their privacy, despite their being in a room with 160 other people.

I skated around them (awkwardly, I might add) for about 5 minutes, as I debated whether or not it would be completely inappropriate for me to approach them and spark a conversation, because I was completely drawn to them.

Eventually, I gathered the guts, sat down across the table from them and introduced myself. They were both polite, and answered every question I threw at them (trust me, there were a lot of questions). I wanted to know how long they had been married, when they had met, and how they could still be so clearly in love.

I eventually found out that she was from West Virginia, and he was from North Carolina. She had fled to DC and become homeless as a result of an abusive relationship. He was very vague in explaining to me how he ended up in DC, so I didn't probe too far. They weren't married, but they had known each other for awhile.

The more questions I asked, the less they paid attention to me. They answered my questions, but they only did so as they balanced looking back at the other person and eating their meal. When they spoke, they started to answer my questions and wouldn't finish their response to me until they each had a nod of encouragement from the other person.

As I got up and politely excused myself from the conversation, I walked away more confused than when I had entered. I walked away realizing a key lesson that I am so glad I learned this summer.

Even though they were homeless, they had something I didn't have.

It was so easy to go about my job this summer thinking, "I have so many ways that I can help these people." Categorizing homeless people into 'these' was bad enough. Thinking that we could only have a one way relationship, where I taught them was the icing on the cake. I learned from this couple that even though I could offer them a meal in the morning, they still had something that I didn't have and couldn't offer to them. This couple was so clearly in love, that any child would take a glance at them and accuse them of having cooties. This man and women had found someone who would go through life with them, no matter the circumstances...including being homeless.

Watching the way they looked at each other, I wanted what they had, and I couldn't get it. Realizing this automatically dignified them as people with resources that I didn't have. Being reminded of this lesson was such a great 'remember when' as I go about re-entering into my life at home :)

The Best Leaders Were Broken

Now that I'm back home, I've been lucky enough to think over my summer and process some of the little things that I learned during my time in DC. One distinct trait I observed this summer was that all of my favorite groups had very broken leaders. Let me explain :)

Over the course of the summer, I had a smorgasbord of youth groups with an innumerable amount of different pasts. I had leaders from all over America...Kansas, Indiana, Texas, Long Island, Wisconsin, Nebraska, Virginia and Maryland. I might be forgetting a few. Needless to say, they came from everywhere. Each group was different. Some were homeschooled, some went to public school, some attended private schools. Some came from rural areas, some from urban areas, most came from the suburbs. Some had seen the ocean, some hadn't. Some had been to the nations capital, some hadn't. You get the picture.

It was a common recurrence for my groups to have leaders open up about coming from very difficult pasts. One leader was sexually assaulted, as an adult. One leader had a homeless father who he had only maintained scattered communication with up until his father passed away. One leader group up in the slums of inner city Atlanta. One leader came to America from Argentina and spoke perfect English because he had been so regularly beaten up in grade school for being 'too spanish.' The list goes on.

The more time that I got to spend with these specific leaders, the more I was drawn to them. Because of my job, I was only allowed the privilege of entering these leaders lives for a week at a time. The more time that I spent with each leader the more in awe of each individual I was. I saw each leader serve as a strong leader to their youth groups. None of them let the brokenness of their past define them. They instead let the victory of Christ proving himself in the midst of difficult circumstances define them. It was interesting to me that as each adult told me their stories, they spoke openly of their brokenness but they emphasized how God used that brokenness to shape them as the most important part of their story.

What did I learn? It's beautiful in its simplicity: no matter what I go through, I will take my brokenness and allow Jesus to be glorified in it, so that when others meet me they can see my story as a testament to the glory of God, just as these leaders did to me.

I Don't Want the Stink to Leave

To start off, I must first apologize to myself, and anyone crazy enough to be following this blog. Now that I'm heading home, hopefully I can get back in the swing of things :)

Today, I get to go back to Massachusetts. I have never felt more emotionally confused than right now. I am living in two emotional extremes. I am absolutely thrilled to go back home and see my family, as well as my friends. On the other hand, I am disturbed at the idea of having to leave my new home in Washington DC.

As I was beginning to prepare to leave, I was trying to think of the best way that I can describe why I don't want to leave. As I was thinking, I had a memory from this summer flash through my mind. Let me tell you the story of Megan :)

Megan is the blonde in this picture on the right. She was in one of my groups this summer, and their group had been scheduled to work at Kids Konnection, the VBS site that CSM partners with. If your group works with Kids Konnection, it is just understood that you will be hands-on with the kids at this site. These kids want to be held, played with and hugged. They love playing with blonde hair, because it's 'barbie doll hair' and it can be played with easily.

While this group was working at this specific Kids Konnection site in a neighborhood called Woodland Terrace, Megan had one of the kids just love on her. This little girl was focused in on Megan and just wanted Megan to hold her. Needless to say, Megan complied, because, who doesn't want to be loved by a little kid? Eventually, it came time to bring the kids back to their homes, so Megan carried this little girl back home.

When everyone returned from dropping off the kids, we piled into the cars to head to Union Station for our next activity. As we were getting into the cars, I heard Megan say, 'Ew! I stink!' I was a bit confused. We were with a group on a missions trip, by nature of a missions trip, we all stink. So, I turned around and asked her what she meant.

She pointed to her chest and said that her shirt stunk. So, I pressed and asked her what she smelled like. She said that the little girl that Megan had been holding had fallen asleep on Megan and rested her head on Megan. Megan explained that the girl little had smelled and her smell now permeated Megan's shirt. I smiled and turned around, continuing to give directions.

As we continued driving, we arrived at Union Station and could not find a parking spot. An hour and a half later, we were finally parked. Welcome to DC driving with out-of-state drivers :) As we were getting out, I heard Megan yet again, make a remark about the stink on her shirt.

As she complained, I started to think about the entire situation, and look for the teaching moment, because I knew there had to be one there. Finally, I talked to Megan and I got it.

Megan had reached out to this little girl in an act of compassion and loved on her. As she reached out to this little girl, this little girl had responded by (literally) rubbing off on Megan. As Megan had left the situation that this girl lives in, this girl had literally made such an impression on Megan that Megan couldn't get rid of her. No matter what Megan did over that hour and a half, she couldn't get rid of the stink of this little girl.

I explained to Megan that she needed to think of this stink in the bigger picture. I told her that she needed to realize that this stink was a good thing because it meant that she had worked that day, and let her experience in DC permeate her. I went on to explain that she should hope that when she goes back she should stink of DC and her time here. If she truly lived up her time on this trip, she would not be able to get rid of her stink of DC no matter how hard she tried when she went home.

My hopes as I go home are that I would so stink of DC that I would not be able to get rid of the 'scent' it has left on me. My hope is that no matter how hard I may push to blend in back home, I would be so permeated with DC that I would not be able to shake it off.

Let's see how I can smell :)

Dangit God

Last Thursday, I woke up and had a wonderful devotion. As I read from Colossians, I was hit with the realization that I need to be willing to give God 100% of who I am. Everything from being mentally tuned into God to be excited about the work he is doing to my having a willing spirit for whatever the work he has prepared for me may be. It served as the perfect foundation for the lesson I was about to learn that day.

Speed up a couple hours to my group participating in the Urban Plunge. They had from 9-1 to walk around assigned parts of the city and interact with homeless people that they would typically walk by without giving a second glance to. The Urban Plunge is typically the highlight of a lot of people's weeks, and my group this week was wonderful so I was excited for them to have this experience.

At the same time that I was preparing my group for their Urban Plunge, I was getting ready to go hang out with Champ. If you've read my Mom's blog, you'll know that Champ is a guy that I have grown to love at Charlie's Place. He was a chef for 35 years and is homeless now. He's so fun to talk to, and is incredible at maintaining a positive attitude.

I knew that I was not scheduled to work at Charlie's Place for breakfast last week, so I wasn't supposed to see him. I also knew that from the couple of times we've talked, he told me that he can usually be found in Dupont Circle. I decided that since I had 4 hours, I could hop over to Dupont Circle and see if Champ wanted to grab a cup of coffee.

The most interesting part of this, is that the closer that it came for me to go and visit Champ, the more reluctant I was to follow through on my commitment. I did not tell him that I was going to stop by and say hi, so I had no accountability. I was just going to stop by because I wasn't going to be able to see him that week.

Regardless, the closer I got, the more excuses I had to not go see him...'it might rain, maybe I shouldn't go'...'he's probably not even going to be there, it's a waste of time'...'i don't want to bother him if he is there' The list was endless. However, I pushed through, got on the metro, and got off at Dupont. By the time I was actually at Dupont Circle and looking for Champ, my attitude had taken a 180 degree turn and I was so excited to see him. As I circled Dupont Circle twice, and waited, Champ did not show. My only logical explanation is that he had somewhere he had to be...I know he's been applying for jobs recently.

As I waited for a couple minutes to see if Champ would come, I found that I ended up being so disappointed that he wasn't there, so I hopped back on the metro and went to do a devotion at Ebenezers. At Ebenezers, I saw the small group coordinator from NCC and ended up having an incredible conversation, that re-charged me enough to easily get through the rest of the week.

What am I getting at? I WANTED to go see Champ. That's why I had the idea in the first place. I was sad that I wasn't going to see him last week, so I was determined to try and say hi. When it came time to put my word to the test, I failed. I went, but I was reluctant, so I wouldn't count myself as succeeding. Success would have come with a joyful heart. But, by the time I got there, I was so excited that I wanted to carry through my original plan. God didn't want me to be at Dupont all morning, because he had a great conversation planned for me at Ebenezers. He just wanted me to be WILLING to go through with my original idea.

As a result, I have learned that I won't accomplish everything that I plan in my days. I just need to be WILLING to do it all, with a joyful attitude. God will have me do what he wants me to do. That day, he had me experience a wonderful conversation in a coffee shop. He just didn't let it happen until AFTER I had been willing enough to go and visit Champ. From now on, I need to be ready to be willing :)

The Washington Monument and The Bureau of Engravings

Last week, my family came to visit me in DC. It was easily one of the biggest highlights of my summer. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I actually saw them. While they were here, my CSM staff was amazingly gracious. They did everything they could to let me spend as much time as possible with my family, and I am so grateful to them for that.

On the Friday afternoon that Mom, Dad, Bekah and Matthew were here, Rita and Ashley were particularly gracious to me. Ashley and I were co-hosting and were scheduled to be at a VBS site in the afternoon. Instead, Rita substituted that 'shift' (even though it's really not a shift because I LOVE my job) for me so that I could go and hang out with my family.

While I was with my family, we decided to do the 'tourist thing.' Dad was awesome and woke up really early to get us tickets to the Washington Monument, as well as the Bureau of Engravings. I have been to the Bureau of Engravings before, but this was my first venture into the Washington Monument.

As we took the elevator up the 555 feet to the top of the Washington Monument, I was antsy to see the view, to say the least. Once we were at the top, the whole family played out each of our personalities to a T. Mom got off the elevator to go and take some incredible pictures. Once she was done, she patiently waited for the rest of us at the elevator as we mozied around. Dad floated between Bekah, Matthew and I and was able to explain those little details that nobody remembers, but everyone loves to know. He is an endless fountain of trivia. Matthew stuck around with me and we talked and looked over the whole city.

When Matthew and I were looking around, he patiently listened as I told him all of the buildings I saw. As I was talking to Matthew, I realized that buildings that I were pointing out. I wasn't showing Matthew the Capitol, the White House, or the Smithsonians. I acknowledged them, but I didn't spend time dwelling on them in my observations. I pointed out Anacostia to him. I also showed him Saint Elizabeths (the retired mental institution in South East). I showed him where I go to church every week. I also showed him a couple of the ministry sites I work at with my groups.

Later that night, when I was thinking about the view that I had seen earlier that day, I realized that I actually SEE the city differently, and my time at the monument symbolized it perfectly. When I thought of DC in the beginning of the summer, I saw the White House, the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial, the Capitol Building and Capitol Hill. Now that I live here, and have formed relationships, it is the people that I see instead of the buildings. I see Anacostia because that is where Jawan, Travan, G, Faith, Destiny, Raven, Marvin, and Alex all live. I see Saint Elizabeths because it is across the street from my favorite housing site. And I see our ministry locations because those are the places that offer smiles to me that make my days better.

It is nothing against tourism. If anything, it is only a change in myself. But, this change is a change I wouldn't trade for the world. I love these places because they are so filled with life. And they are filled to the point that they overflow and have changed me enough that I will never see this city the same again :)

Junior High and Esther

One morning, I decided to do my devotions from the book of Esther. It was a little bit random, but I couldn't resist. When I was growing up, Esther was my absolute favorite personality from the Bible. I have always been drawn to Esther. I never tire of reading about Esther, her boldness, her strength and her silent courage. Because of this interest in Esther, I decided that I really wanted to read the story of Esther as a replacement to my regular devotions. I did not think that it would be very applicable to my day, but I went ahead with it anyway.

As I was reading, one verse in particular stuck out to me. Ester 2:20 says, "But Esther had kept secret her family background and nationality just as Mordecai had told her to do, for she continued to follow Mordecai's instructions as she had done when he was bringing her up."

When I typically think of Esther, I think of a beautiful Queen who got body massages, pedicures and spoke out to a King. I picture a hero, and the type of woman who walks into a room and everyone thinks 'wow.'

I don't typically think of Esther the way this verse describes her. This verse describes a woman who stripped herself of her identity so that she could become blended into a culture and she could show God's name, instead of hers.

As I was thinking about it, I realized that for Esther to live out God's plan, she had to strip herself of every identifying factor that she had previously used to represent herself. This verse demonstrates that Esther lost her culture, her religion, her name and her family in order to assume this position as Queen. If this were to happen today, she would be seen as crazy. But, clearly God knew what he was doing.

Because of this, I challenged my Long Island group to do the same. I challenged them that as they were serving that week, to strip themselves of their religion, their names, their culture and their families in order to not restrict God's plan. I told them to be willing to just serve as they walked in the middle of God's love. As they took on this challenge, they slowly understood. They began to serve throughout the whole week glorifying God because they had assumed his identity, as they slowly stripped themselves of their own. The more they did this, the more they understood the true reason of why they were here.

Needless to say, it was such a cool lesson, and it was even cooler to learn it from 'just a bunch of Junior High-ers :)'

Long Island and Junior High

This picture was my group from two weeks ago. Before they came, I knew two things about them. They were from Long Island, and they were Junior High kids. To say I was reluctant to be excited is a bit of an understatement. To top it all of, I knew that I was going to be staying with them in Anacostia. In any normal, rational person's mind, this would spell out out a recipe for disaster.

To say my group rose above and beyond my expectations would be a gross understatement. They were absolutely incredible. They pushed through their week with a determination that even I could not match. They were strong, grounded in their faith and so much fun. Not to get ahead of myself...there were a couple of times I thought about purposefully leaving a Junior High-er at a ministry site. But, they were amazing. I can go into more details on how incredible they were in a separate post. But for now, let me settle with: God and Junior Highers makes a GREAT combination.

I'm BACK! :)

I am very aware that I have (epically) failed at blogging for the past two weeks. I'm also aware that two weeks, when I'm only in DC for about 12, is a VERY large percentage of my time here that I have neglected to write down. Because of that, I am going to attempt to do some very intense catch-up.

I have not had internet for the past two weeks. And other than not being able to blog, it has been a huge blessing. I have loved the freedom that has come from not being able to waste hours on facebook. Not to sound too much like a mom, or a hippie, but it's been very nice :)

So, bare with me as I tackle the past two weeks. I'll try my best to hit on my high points, and record the things I want to remember for my own memories sake. :)

How Awesome is this Staff?

Because we didn't have groups this past week, Ashley and I decided that we were going to support the staff. We decided that we would take our time off to encourage the staff that was here. Each night, we got them a cheesy little gift, and a note with a Bible verse to encourage them.

I promise I'm not saying this to brag. I'm saying it to boast about Ashley. One night, we decided to buy candy for everyone. We then made cheesy puns out of the candy that could be connected to a Bible Verse. An example? We got a Hershey's Chocolate Bar for Brenda and encouraged her in 'setting the bar' for her group.

The picture on the left is a picture of the encouragement that Ashley surprised me with. It's a bag of Hershey's kisses. Here's the note that she attached to it:

"So, I promised you that I would find you a verse to go with the candy that you 'allowed' me to buy for you...

'Serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling. KISS the Son, lest he be angry and you be destroyed in your way, for his wrath can flare up in a moment. Blessed are all who take refuge in him.' Psalm 2:11-12

'Surely his salvation is near those who fear him, that his glory may dwell in our land. Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace KISS each other. Faithfulness springs forth from the earth, and righteousness looks down from heaven. The Lord will indeed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest. Righteousness goes before him and prepares the way for his steps' Pslam 85:9-13.

'An honest answer is like a KISS on the lips' Proverbs 24:26

'Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies KISSES' Proverbs 27:6

'Greet one another with a holy KISS' 2 Corinthians 13:12

You should be very thankful that I skipped over Song of Songs :)

But really...this is the verse I was thinking of when I bought the kisses this evening...

'For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the meaure of all the fullness of God" Ephesians 3:14-19

I know that the verse doesn't actually use the word KISS but since a KISS is an expression of love and this passage is Paul's prayer for the Ephesians and it's all about God's incredible love for us, I figured it fits :)

Also, this is my reminder to you that not only does Jesus love you beyond your wildest imagination, but I love you too - although I will only give you candy kisses

Ashley"

The reason I shared this note is because it was such a blessing to me. Ashley took the time to write me an encouraging note to remind me that I am loved. And I appreciated it more than I can express. I am so thankful for her willingness to encourage me and help strengthen me in my faith. She allowed God to use her to remind me that I am loved by my God. My hope is that anyone else who can read what she shared with me, can also be reminded that they are loved :) I also couldn't help but brag about what a great friend I have found, who I am lucky enough to work with as well :)

Justification, Redemption and This Summer

This past spring, our church did a sermon series called Crosswords. It was a series that delved into some of the 'fancy church words' surrounding the crucifixion. It was one of my favorite sermon series that our church has done. The words we tackled in this series were, "Word" "Redemption" "Reconciliation" "Justification" "Sanctification" and "Propitiation." Because I appreciated this series, I decided to listen to it again this past week. So far, I have only listened to Redemption and Justification.

The first word we (Ashley and I) listened to was justification. In the Justification sermon, the first point my Dad emphasizes is that in order for Justification to become a tangible and successful concept, God must be constant. Because of this, His morals are constant throughout time, and his judgment is unchanging. His standards don't ever change.

The next word we listened to was redemption. In the redemption sermon, there was a point that stuck out very clearly to me. Dad gave an example of the 'Debtors Prison' that existed during Charles Dicken's time. This was an awful institution in which members of society living in debt were imprisoned because they owed money. The dilemma is that individuals were sent to prison because they were in debt, yet they could not pay off their debt because they were in prison.

The debtors prison was a cycle in which despair succeeded and hope was lost for the people living in this institution. As I was hearing Dad describe the debtors prison, it began to sound oddly familiar to me. It slowly dawned on me that the homeless population that I am learning to love is modern day equivalent to the debtors prison. They are trapped in an institution that is bound to the cycle of poverty, and is almost impossible to break. Just as it was easy to make a quick mistake and be in debt, then thrown in prison, the same can be spoken on in reference to homelessness.

The fact that this broken downward cycle of poverty is still the same in our modern day society, just as it existed in Charles Dickens day is depressing, to say the least. But...there's a positive side as well :)

This cycle of poverty has continued throughout a long period of time, and has remained consistent. On the flip side, just like the justification sermon states, our God has continued throughout a long period of time, and has remained consistent as well. As I was thinking through this, I was so encouraged. At times, when I am talking to people who are broken and destitute, it can be a temptation to be very discouraged. But, I am so encouraged in knowing that as long as there is this cycle of brokenness, there is always going to be my God on the other side. He will always work as a balance to the brokenness that exists, because he is constant. Because of that, I know that I can go about my days knowing that just as he always has, my God will always continue to be there to balance out the brokenness :)

Welcome to My Mind

For anyone that has been reading my blog...I apologize ahead of time for this post. I don't have any 'deep thoughts' or observations to record and share today. I had originally intended for this blog to be a sort of online journal, where I could sort out my thoughts...which is what I will do today :) If you care to venture into my mind with me, and are brave enough to try to follow my train of thoughts, I have to give you the appropriate kudos.

For my devotions today, I read Exodus 33:12-20. I didn't have any sort of pre-written devotional to guide me through this time. To begin, I was interested in reading a passage that demonstrated a biblical figure who struggled with following the ways of the Lord. When I looked in the index, I discovered this passage in Exodus. It was nothing complicated. This passage just seemed to be a small passage that I could read, pray over and (attempt to) learn from.

Before I share what I learned, let me provide a background to where I was coming from, for my own memories sake. Anyone that knows me, know that I have ALWAYS loved the idea of marriage. Ever since I was little, I have always wanted to be married and be a wife. I know how stereotypical, 'christian-girl' this sounds. Regardless of whether I am only fueling the stereotype or not, I can always remember wanting to be married. Yes, I dream about my wedding day. Even more than my wedding day, I dream about the regularity of marriage. I know that marriage is difficult, complicated, hard and tiring. Yes, for some reason, I can't resist the desire to be married. I can not wait to find 'that person' and to have someone to share my every day with. That deep friendship, partnership and comradery is something that I have always looked forward to.

The flip side to this is that it carries with it my biggest fear. This may sound shallow, but my biggest fear is that there isn't going to be anyone who will want to love me. In every other area of my life, I have always been able to trust that God will provide. For some reason, I still have this underlying fear that I will be left by myself.

I typically do not share this fear because I feel young and quite frankly, stupid vocalizing this fear. The reason I am thinking about it now is because one of the interns at a ministry site that CSM partners with has recently started calling me out. I never spoke of this fear to anyone on staff, and most certainly not this intern. Yet, as I worked with them every day last week they persisted in approaching me and telling me that they 'felt I was afraid of not finding someone who would love me.' I'm still not sure how I feel...to be honest, it creeped me out a little. And despite my efforts to dismiss them, or tell them they were crazy, they persisted. At the very least, I caved in and agreed to at least think through this fear.

With this basis, I read Exodus 33. It is aptly titled "Moses and the Glory of the LORD." In this selection, the verses that resonated with me were 12-14. In 12, Moses is having a discussion with the Lord. He speaks to the Lord and vocalizes that he is troubled because he knows that he has found favor with the Lord. Despite this favor, he still does not know who the Lord wants to send with Moses on his journey. In verse 14, the Lord responds by saying that "My Presence will go with you and I will give you rest"

This verse may not sound like a clear cut answer to my fear. Yet, it addressed my fears enough that I can comfortably say that I have peace. Right now, I do not know when I will date. The only thing I know for sure is that I am supposed to be in DC. Yet, I can relate with Moses enough that I am brought peace. I know that I am living in the plans the Lord has carved for my life. I know that everyday, I am intentionally pursuing a relationship with my God. I am also sure that God knows the desires he has placed in my heart. Because he is a loving God, he will not deny me those desires, he will just let them happen in his timing. The Lord's presence will go with me. I am confident of that. And just as Moses showed that the Lords presence was his rest, I can live confidently knowing that the Lord's presence is my rest as well.

My Reality Check

About two months ago, I found out that I would be working in DC this summer. After I had gotten home from college for the summer, I was driving around with my mom one day. I realized I would be in DC for the 4th of July and turned to ask my mom what I should do to celebrate the holiday. She patiently reminded me that I would be IN the nations capital to celebrate our nations independence, and it might be appropriate to celebrate the holiday in the city. Clearly...I don't always think before I speak :)

This past weekend, I finally got that opportunity to be in DC for the 4th. Incase I didn't realize before...that specific holiday is kind of a big deal around here :) The picture on the right is a picture I took from my phone of the fireworks we watched on the National Mall. This was one of the smaller fireworks. All I can say is that the entire experience was breathtaking. There were festivals going on, the Smithsonian hours were extended, the Capitol hosted a concert that was great and the day concluded with fireworks over the Lincoln Memorial that were (literally) larger than the Washington Monument. After serving in the city, it was such a great break to be able to be a tourist and enjoy the festivities that the city provided.

After the concert at the Capitol, most of the staff took a public bus back to the church. We were sitting at the bus stop and laughing so hard, I almost cried. As we were enjoying this time, I looked about a hundred feet to my left. It was night time, and at first, I only saw a highway overpass. When I did a double-take, I saw movement under the overpass. Looking closely, I noticed a man moving around. All of a sudden, I understood. He was preparing his bed for the night. He had a bed that he was going to lay on, and he was moving his makeshift pillows to create a more comfortable area where he could rest his head.

As I took this in, my heart broke. All of the celebrations that we had just enjoyed were pushed to the back of my mind, and I was so sad for this man. It was a visual I don't think I will forget. My thoughts as I reflected on this sight were that I could not be sad. I could only learn from this visual. It was a remarkable lesson to me that my ministry should not ever take a break. It is not wrong for me to enjoy a holiday. It is also not right for me to live irresponsibly with the knowledge I now have of the injustice that daily takes place. I was allowed a break on the fourth to enjoy the company of the staff and friends I am allowed to work with this summer. As much as God allowed that time for me, and enjoyed our fellowship, I am confident that his heart also broke as he watched that man prepare his bed that night.

Needless to say, I know that I can not live with regret at the sight that I saw. I can learn from it, and be appreciative that God selected me at that moment to teach me a lesson. It is something I greatly appreciated and will be intentional in not forgetting.

(Yet Another) Curveball

I am absolutely convinced that I might be one of God's biggest amusements. Let me explain :)

This week, I don't have a group. I'm still technically 'on-call,' and my official title is 'a floater.' What does this entail? There are 3 hosts at Star (the church we're staying at) this week, and they are co-hosting one big group from Michigan. There are 3 more hosts that are living at different CSM sites in the city and hosting there own groups. Then there's Ashley and I. We are still living at Star. We just don't have groups that we can host and bring around the city.

When I was first informed that I had the week (for the most part) off, I was kind of flustered. I signed up to work this summer. I didn't know what I was going to do with my next 5 days. I am comfortable hosting, and I love my job. It makes me excited, and even though there's always twists and turns, I know what to expect. Yet again, I became comfortable with where I was, and God stripped me of that.

You'd think I would have learned my lesson by now. As I go about this coming week, I don't really know what to expect. I don't have a schedule planned out for me. I won't have the luxury of knowing what work sites I will be at during any given day. I do know this is a week where I will learn. I also know that God had this planned all along. He knew that I would become comfortable hosting groups. He also knew that he would have to give me a week without a group, so that I could be reminded of why I am here.

I'm not here to serve the groups that I host. I'm not even here to serve the city of Washington DC. I'm here to serve my God. The context of serving him, and the people I serve may change at any given instance, but the God I am serving will remain constant. That is a promise I can speak of and know will remain true. God has called me to serve him, and in doing that, he has called me to serve those that are closest to me. Last week, this meant that I was supposed to serve my Texas group, and the sites I attended. This week, I am called to spend time with God and serve the staff. They are who God has placed closest to me for this time, and they are who I will serve.

To sum it up, God is ironic, and never bores me. I'm ALWAYS learning from him. On the flip side, I'm sure my reactions never bore him either :)

The Little Things

Our staff meetings are usually on Sunday afternoons at 2 pm, and we meet until groups start to arrive around 4 pm. This week, after our official staff meeting was over, I found out that I don't have a group (that story calls for another post :). BUT, I did get a wonderful surprise at the same time.

In the picture at the top of this post, is...another picture. If you look closely, it's a framed picture with writing around the framework. The picture is me, stuck in the middle of my Texas group from last week, sitting in front of Ben's Chili Bowl. This picture was taken on our free night. Free night, last week was on Thursday night. This is usually a time when the youth group will go out into the city to have a turn as tourists. It's also a time for the CSM to have a night to relax, and 'recharge' ourselves.

However, last week, I enjoyed this group so much that, when they asked if I would spend my free night with them, I had to say yes. They went to Ben's for dinner, and I joined, with one of the other hosts from the staff this summer. This dinner was one of my favorite memories from this summer so far. There were 16 of us total, and I think at least half of us laughed so hard we cried. There were no big lessons learned, or any specific 'God-moments.' It was just a time of joy and celebration. It was such a pure demonstration to me of Christian community, where we could laugh and enjoy a GREAT meal together. At the end of the meal, we took a group picture in front of Ben's, but I never thought I'd be able to see that picture.

After our staff meeting, I heard voices in our hallway. I walked out to the hallway, and my group was there. They had stayed the weekend to celebrate the 4th of July, and I met up with them yesterday to spend more time with them. Today, they came back to the church to drop off this picture. They told me that they had printed up the picture and signed the frame so that I could remember my week with them.

This was such a small act of kindness. But, I can't explain how much it really meant to me. I was so moved that they would put this effort in. I wouldn't have wanted any other gift from them. I didn't expect this frame, but I can promise I will cherish it. It was such an encouragement to me to have a physical reminder of my group from Texas. Their words of encouragement were amazing to me. All that I could respond with was a thank you, and a promise that this frame will DEFINITELY be going up in my dorm :)

Broken and Blameless

Last night, to wind down my week with Texas, I had to think of a 'topic' for the debrief we were going to have. I was starting to worry. I was afraid that I didn't have a good way to wind down our week in a way that would challenge them as they went home. It became even more complicated when I realized I wanted to challenge them, yet still let them see how proud I was of the work they'd done.

I started thinking about James 1:27. This is not an unfamiliar verse to me. My family, and my church have talked about this verse while I was growing up. It states, 'Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.'

As I was thinking through this verse, I was also thinking about how I would define my group. I loved the Texas group. I got along with them exceptionally well. Our personalities matched perfectly, and I looked forward to working with them every day. Because we got along so well, I also got to know them better than the other groups I have had. The more I got to know them, the more I saw how broken they really were.

Each person that I spoke with, and got to know better showed me a side of brokenness that they held inside. Whether it was a physical brokenness, like 4 concussions, poor choices made in dating relationships, or issues of pride, this group made themselves vulnerable to me.

As I was taking the time to reflect on my group, I had two realizations. I realized that I fit right in. I have my mistakes, my history and my own issues that I struggle with. I also realized that James 1:27 was the perfect was for us to close our week together.

What James 1:27 showed Texas and I, is that despite all of our brokenness (and trust me, there was a lot), when we were working together last week, we were pure and blameless.

This verse doesn't promise that when we serve others we are cleansed of our own personal histories, mistakes and issues. It doesn't say that accepting Jesus as my savior means that I start out with a clean slate. But, it DOES mean that when I bring my broken self to God and say, 'put me to work,' as long as I am working in the name of God and practicing THAT sort of religion, I am pure and faultless.

As I was sharing this with the group, it was so cool to come to this understanding together. We realized that last week, as we devoted each day to looking after the orphans and the widows, and doing our best to keep ourselves from being polluted by the world, we spent a week as broken people, who at the same time, were pure and faultless. That's an irony that only our God could allow to happen :)

I'm Sorry If You Think I'm Rude But...

My group this week is from Texas. They're awesome. I wasn't sure what to expect out of a small, baptist youth group from Texas. In fact, I was a bit nervous. So far, they have only broken stereotypes and surprised me.

Last night, we did our prayer tour. It's the first activity that we do with our groups every week as they arrive. It's a 2 hour drive around DC, where they are able to see every aspect of the city. They see the monuments, the government buildings, the ritzy neighbors, embassy row, and the poorer areas of the city. The point of this tour is for them to be able to understand the stark contrasts in the city.

Our tour last night ended in Anacostia. Anacostia is the predominant neighborhood in Southeast, the section of the city that I have blogged about before. Southeast struggles with crime, poverty and a reputation as 'an area not to go to.'

As we were outside of a Black, Catholic church in Anacostia that overlooks downtown DC, my group heard something that sounded similar to gunshots. They then watched a couple cops with their sirens drive past the church we were standing outside of. I'm not convinced that that is what the sound was. There had been fireworks going on earlier, and I haven't been near gunshots before, so it doesn't seem to be the origin of the sound. Regardless, my groups imagination went wild, assumptions were made, and they were shaken up.

Another area that we drove by on our tour was K Street. K Street is a predominant location for the sex-trafficking industry in DC. It's interesting because K Street is located in the financial district, near a lot of the upscale restaurants in the city. It is the same place where a lot of powerful people will dine regularly. It is seems a bit 'ironic' that one of the streets in DC with a lot of upscale restaurants also struggles with sex trafficking.

During our debrief tonight, the youth group leaders and I were asking the kids about what had shaken them up, what had opened their eyes, and what they were glad that they saw during our tour. A large emphasis was placed on the 'gunshots' that were heard. After awhile, it became a bit repetitive and redundant.

Finally, one girl stepped up and prefaced her statement with, "I'm sorry if you think I'm rude but..."

Before I go on, I have to say. Her honesty was so appreciated. What she had to say was straight from her heart, it was on target, and it was genuine. The way she spoke was a reminder of how to go about accountability in a gentle, but firm way.

She went on to tell the group that she essentially thought that their focus, and their priorities were wrong. She said that she heard them speaking about their fear of these 'gunshots' rather than their fear of the well-being of the city that they were called to love this week. She explained that a lot of the things that the group was saying troubled them, had to do with their own well-being. She went on to remind them that, this week, they are not in DC for their own well being. They are hear to met the needs of the neighborhood of Anacostia. She also reminded them that, if they stopped speaking of their fear of safety, and started worrying about the people they were called to serve, their need for safety would be met in that process.

This girl was exceptional in her understanding as to why she is here this week. The best part about her reminder was that, as soon as she was done speaking, the group got it. They understood that they needed to stop thinking about themselves, and they had to start thinking about the people of DC, and the poverty they are living in. The youth group is here to try and meet the emergency needs of the poor, destitute and homeless.

I'm so excited to work with this group. Their work ethic is awesome, they have a GREAT sense of humor, and they know why they're here. To top it off, they are already reminding me why I am here, and they are helping to keep my priorities straight. It's gonna be a good week :)

Home Is Where the Heart Is

This morning, on my way back from church, I decided that the phrase "Home is where the heart is" is a serious point of conflict for me right now.

Since I have gotten to DC, I've made two observations about this phrase, and how it relates to my life.
1.) I wish my family was here to experience this summer with me. My heart is with my family, and it would be so cool if my 'home' could be here to see DC the way that I am able to see it this summer.
2.) The more I'm getting plugged into DC, it's landscape, the staff I'm working with, and the church I'm attending, the more I'm realizing that my heart is also with the city of DC.

This creates a serious dilemma. The picture of my family and I that I posted is also kept in my room, as a part of a care package that my mom sent to me. When I opened up the pictures that she mailed to me, my first instinct was to share all of the pictures with anyone in the room. I love my family and am so proud to show them off. Seeing pictures of the times I have spent with them puts a smile on my face, and it is a great reminder of how my heart truly is with them, no matter what part of the country I'm in.

The picture of the Washington Monument was taken from my phone last night. I was standing at the bus stop, waiting for my bus to arrive and looked up to see this view. As I saw it, I stood in awe. I don't think I'm going to get sick of seeing the beauty that exists in this city. Whether it is the kindness of the people, the architecture in the apartments, or the monuments that testify to the history of our country, I am continually placed in a state of amazement as I observe my surroundings.

I don't have a solution as to where 'home' is right now. I know that my heart is with my family. My heart is with DC, and my heart is also with God. He has been my bridge to allow these two worlds to collide. I guess if I were to take this phrase literally, my home is not a stable building. I'm a bit of a drifter at the moment. But, my heart is resting with the people that matter most to me. Whether it is my family and friends back north, or the people in this city, and it is always resting with my God. And for right now, I wouldn't have it any other way :)

A Visit From a Friend :)

The picture on the left is a picture of Cami, with her husband Stefan, and their two kids, Micah and Mandy. I creeped this picture off her facebook page :) Cami plays a lot of roles in my life. She is first and foremost a wonderful friend to me. She is also a role model. She is an R.D at Gordon, but not my R.D. When I am at school, she substitutes as a sort of second-mom to me until I get to be around my mom. She gives the best hugs. This summer, she agreed to sign up to mentor to me while I am here at CSM, meaning that she has committed to pray for me and check up on me throughout the summer.

Cami and I met because of the Lacrosse team. It's a long story, but it is very clear that our friendship was designed by God. During this past season, Cami and I began to know each other better as the season progressed and we were at each game together. Throughout the spring semester, we began to meet weekly to pray for the team, and as this weekly prayer progressed, so did our friendship. Cami has been wonderful in showing me how to love people without hesitating. While I am at school, her family welcomes me with open arms. Stefan is wonderful, and I adore her two kids.

They are currently taking a 6 week roadtrip around the USA. Yes, they are crazy. As part of their trip, they stopped by DC for the afternoon to say hi. We were able to go to dinner at Ruby Tuesdays, grab Frozen Yogurt, and have a drive-through tour of the city.

I don't have a huge lesson for this blog post, to share what I learned. I just want to be able to remember, as I read these posts at the end of the summer, about the wonderful afternoon I had today. Cami did not have to stop by DC. But, her taking a couple of hours to say Hi to me will carry much further than a couple of hours. The effort she put in will last as I return to school and get excited to see her family again.

All in all, today was a great day, and I feel very rested. I got to talk to Josh for a little bit on my bus ride back from downtown to the Church, and it made me miss home, in a good way :) Tonight, I get to rest and watch Invictus with the rest of the staff, and I'm looking forward to it, until church in the morning :) Sweet dreams!

Homelessness and Lacrosse

Sometimes, I think that God has given me my passions just so that he can have a good laugh. This week, I took some time to step back and think about where God has really placed his heart in me. As I was thinking, three words flashed through my head: Inner City and Lacrosse.

This blog is a clear testament to the fact that I love working in the inner city. Sometimes, the people I work with are a little rough on the outside. Sometimes, they're rough on the inside too. I'm not always placed in the safest situations, but I'm o.k. with that. Psalm 91 reminds me I'm being watched over. I'm not always around people that look like me. And it's not uncommon to talk to someone who suffers from addiction, or broken relationships and to see that as much as I love them, they may never change.

BUT, I also meet people every day who are changing my life. I experience unconditional love in a way that I've never seen it before. I meet the victors who have lived through everything life has thrown at them, and I've heard their stories of triumph. I see the staff I'm working with push through exhaustion to continue to patiently love the teens we work with. And I see people who have nothing to offer share everything they have.

I can not deny that I am passionate for my job. I love it.

For anyone who does not know, this past semester I started a prayer ministry for the Men's Lacrosse team at Gordon, with help from their coach and one of my mentors. At times, the team was frustrating. I was irritated with some of their daily choices. Their attitudes got to me. I see so much potential in them.

BUT, just like with the homeless ministries, the good far outweighed the bad. I heard stories that only God could orchestrate from players of the team. As I prayed for them daily, I knew that there were 30 other girls on campus praying for at least one player every day. I saw the teams attitudes on the field begin to mirror the attitude of Christ. And I watched some of the team start to understand that they are leaders with influence on campus. Their coach played a large part in this, with the example that he set forth for his team. And as prayer was poured into the team, they began to follow their coaches example.

What am I getting at? Just like I can not deny that God has shared a little bit of his heart with me for the homeless, the poor, and the broken in the inner city, I can not deny that God has shared a little bit of his heart with me for the Lacrosse team at school. When I take the time to actually think through this, it BLOWS me away. These two groups of people could NOT be more different. But, I love them both the same. Both have hurt me, and both have taken me in and loved me. In turn, I have promised both of them that I will love them unconditionally, and I will never cease to pray for them.

This unconditional love is something that I know I can only have received from God. And it floors me that if he let me love both of them, he can only love them so much more than I can fathom. If he can love these two extremes through me, he must be able to love everyone inbetween with this same unconditional love. I don't know how he does it, and I don't want to know. I like that right now, I have the luxury of stepping back and being amazed by the extremes of his love. It puts a smile on my face, and it gives me the encouragement I need to keep walking in the middle of his love :)

My Beauty and the Beast Moment

The day before I came to Washington DC, I decided to watch Beauty and the Beast. It's a classic, and I hadn't watched it in years. I figured I was due for another viewing of this Disney fairytale. Not much has changed since the last time I watched this movie. I was just as fascinated, and I still sang along to all the words :)

When my Dad came home, I told him that Disney hit a home run with Beauty and the Beast. He patiently explained that he has been trying to tell me that for years. He also told me that when I was growing up, I reminded him of Belle. He said that it had to do with my obsession with reading, just like Belle. With friends, I always stayed a little bit on the 'outside' because, that's where I'm comfortable. My thoughts after that comment were, "If I'm Belle...then where's my beast?"

Yesterday, my group served at a ministry site called Thrive DC. Thrive typically feeds around 150 people breakfast every morning. My job to help them prepare for yesterday was to put the cherries, that are in the picture, into 150 bowls. Let me just say, these cherries were legit. They were fresh picked from a local farm and they had been donated to Thrive. They still had the leaves attached to some of their stems, and they were delicious. As people began to come up and take their cherries, I realized that I would not have wanted to serve these cherries to anyone else. Most of the people I was serving put the biggest smile on my face. They were warm, funny and engaging. They made me so happy, and could not thank us enough for the food they were being given for breakfast.

As I was putting the cherries together, I realized that I had found 'my beast.' In the movie, the beast is a bit cliche. When Belle begins to love on the Beast, his response is kindness. At first, he doesn't know how to treat her because he is unaccustomed to her attitude. But, as she perseveres, he responds by giving to her as well.

When my thoughts after I had watched the movie were, 'where's my beast?' I had been thinking about a boy. Yesterday, it was so cool to see that God had my 'beast' be a group of people that were better than a guy. The people that I encountered at Thrive did not always know how to react to our love. They sometimes responded with bitterness, or anger. But, as my group and I persevered, their attitudes slowly changed. They transformed from people that were homeless and bitter to a group of welcoming, and funny people. The only change was that instead of treating them rudely, we loved them. By the time a lot of them were leaving, they came over to our group and said that they hoped they would be seeing us again.

This whole experience was so exciting. I wouldn't have it any other way. I love the fact that for right now, the people that I get to love are the people who attend our ministry sites. They make my days worth it. I love them with an unconditional love that I can't explain, and I'm so glad that I have been lucky enough to be able to get to know them. They may seem to be 'my beast' at first, but the more time I spend with them, the more beautiful they become :)

I Miss My Mountain

This may seem a bit whiny...but bear with me :) Last week was tough. There's no need to be extensive on why, because I have already blogged about that. Let me share my biggest challenge this week.

My biggest challenge for this week is that it is easy. At least so far. Everything is going smoothly, and there have been no major issues, obstacles, or challenges and it's KILLING me! Last week was so challenging, but it was also filled with so much dependency. As the week became progressively more challenging, my need to depend on God became stronger at the same time. I reached a point last week where I had no choice but to turn to God to handle each day, because I was not going to be able to make it on my own. And the blessings, as well as the joy that came from that were more amazing than I could have ever expected. Living day by day having to trust God was the more uplifting experience. I spent everyday last week in awe that he not only brought me through last week, but helped me to come out victorious, so that I could in turn give the credit to him.

This week, it's a bit of a different story. Each day is going fine, to the point that I don't need God. This means that I do need to remember him. This week it has been easy to breeze through the days not having to give glory to him, because I'm not needing to turn to him at every moment. It's surprising to me that if I had a choice, I would love to change this week to bring me to that point of challenge so that I could regain that dependency. It's confusing to me, because it's not logical. All that I know is that, each day, I have had to remain very conscientious that I need to spend time with my God. When I do, it's well worth it.

It's amazing to me that I can start to understand why so many people in difficult experiences have such joy. I got a sampling of the joy that is experienced through dependency last week, and now that I'm not in that state, I miss it. I guess my new challenge is to see the joy that can be experienced in the mundane day to day, rather than the miracles that shine to glorify my God.

And My Refuge Is...

I think that the most important lessons I have learned throughout my life have arisen in the midst of the most difficult circumstances. This past week has proven to be no exception.

As Ashley and I were talking about our week, we also discussed the numerous emotions we experienced. At points I felt afraid, confused, scared, and even nervous. At other points, I felt excited, proud of our group, victorious, and I always felt joyful. The one emotion that never left was peace. I don't understand, but I know that last week, I never experienced feeling stressful, and I always had an underlying sense of peace.

Throughout this past week, I have learned one thing for sure...I am NOT in Hopkinton (or at Gordon) anymore. It has been proven to me that doors cannot be left unlocked, cars can not be left unwatched and material possessions can never go unguarded. When one of our groups was talking to the Fire Department and shared that we were staying in Anacostia, the firemen told us that they were nervous for us and that we needed to be careful. (Don't worry mom...I'm safe, I promise :)

The point is, for the first time in my life, I don't have a place that I can call 'home' and go to when I don't feel secure. I don't have a dorm room, or a house where I can leave things unguarded and trust that they will be there when I return. As this hit me, the Psalms came to my mind. As I browsed through the Psalms, Psalm 91 in particular resonated with me. Particularly the phrase: "The Lord is my refuge."

Reading through this passage, I was able to understand the Psalmist's perspective. The few verses that stuck out to me in particular were 2, 4, 7 and 8.

These passages show me that for this summer, I do not have a shelter where I am always secure. I don't have a family right next to me all the time, and that's hard. But, I DO have my God. As new obstacles arose daily, I promise to find my refuge in the Lord. And as I turned to him, he responded with a peace that surpassed my understanding. I watched bizarre, and awful things happen. Yet, in the midst of that, my God protected me. Although these things came near me, he never let me be touched. I am confident that my protection is a result of my obedience to be in DC this summer.

I can now say that I am confident that obstacles will come in an effort to scare me and halt the work that CSM is doing. I am also confident that when I turn to my God, he will bring me through these obstacles, and provide me with a peace that won't make sense. Psalm 91 promises me that danger will come near me if I am pursuing the work of the Lord. Psalm 91 also promises me that as this danger comes near me, it will not touch me, because I am living under a shadow of protection.

Being able to look back over this past week, I can say that I wouldn't trade my obstacles for the world, because they provided me with a joy that I have never experienced before. They refined me, and tested me. Despite it all, one thing that I can say with confidence, is that no matter where I am...The Lord is my refuge, in whom I trust :)

Bring It On

This week has been absolutely amazing. I have learned more lessons this week than I thought I would learn all summer. It has also been a series of unfortunate events. The crazy part is, I wouldn't have traded it for the world. Everything that happened was so bizarre that it was hysterical. Let me explain :)

Sunday-Before we had finished our orientation, our dinner got cancelled. CSM plans to bring groups to different ethnic restaurants every night they're here. We ended up at IHOP. To top it all of...we got lost on our prayer tour that night. My van ended up 45 minutes into Virginia.

Monday-We got stuck outside in (literal) downpours. While we were stuck outside, we got a call that we had no power at our apartment.

Tuesday-One of our work sites cancelled, so we found out our whole schedule had to be changed for Wednesday, but it wasn't anything we couldn't handle :)

Wednesday-One of our two 12 passenger vans was stolen. I'm not kidding. I ended up watching 10 high school kids while leaders figured insurance-issues out. While me and the 10 kids were standing on a street corner waiting to get picked up, our group witnessed a homeless man being beaten and mugged a couple feet away from us. Fortunately, by the grace of God, between these two incidents, no one was harmed and everyone was ok.

Thursday-I had to work on a farm. Enough said.

I wouldn't exchange this past week for the world. As each trial arose, I was able to watch the 'true colors' of our group, as well as my co-host come out. Everyone handled each obstacle with grace and patience. There were times where I felt shaken up, or nervous, but I never felt stressed, and I can fully credit my group with that. They were so wonderful.

My other blessing was that my Dad provided me with such strong words of encouragement. He patiently worked through all of my questions and answered any issues I had. I'll write more later...for now I'm tired. But at the very least, I can say that I learned two lessons.
1.) As dad said-"The more I let God work through me, the more God will work in me :)" and
2.) The Lord is absolutely my refuge, no matter where I am :)

My First Mix of Sociology and Jesus

On Tuesday, my group had volunteered at S.O.M.E (So Others Might Eat). SOME just might be my favorite ministry site. It is a site that 'meets the Immediate Needs of the poor, destitute and hungry.' They will provide anyone who shows up at their doors with a meal and a shower. They have other programs which include medical care, dentistry, counseling, rehabilitation, job-skills training and halfway housing. Their ultimate goal is to make the individuals who started out with immediate needs to be able to live on their own.

The reason that I respect SOME so much is because they demand respect from their clients, they work hard and run on a rigid schedule. They keep a clean environment and their attitudes are amazing. In return, they expect to be respected by the people that they serve. At times, they may seem 'too uptight.' They regulate portions, and are efficient. But, when they demand respect, it pays off. A lot of the staff that now works full time at SOME are graduates of their programs who, at one time had immediate needs that needed to be met. It's so cool to see that as SOME gives to these people, they in turn give back.

The day after we served at SOME, we served at a soup kitchen that provides meals to women in need of food. At this kitchen, their work is also amazing and their employees are incredible. The biggest difference that I noticed between this second site and SOME is that the second site went above and beyond to personally cater to the woman in their site. They took individual requests for their food, and always provided more than the women asked for.

Both of these sites are ministries in the city, but what do they have to do with sociology?

During our training, the President gave us a training session on how to help break the cycle of poverty while assisting the economically challenged, rather than to just provide food for a meal. One of the ways that he went about this was by giving us an example of a sociological idea that we could put into practice. It's something like this. If one person provides a second person with a gift, they have a relationship. BUT, once the first person provides the second person with a second gift, and expects nothing in return, the relationship is unbalanced, and creating a level of equality is (almost) impossible. The point behind it, is that if all we do is continually give, we create an unequal relationship. It automatically places 'us' at a higher level than 'them.' It makes those we are aiding (even though our intentions may be pure) think that they have nothing that they can give us that would be of equal value to whatever we are giving them.

It was fascinating to me to watch this play out. At SOME, they demand something in return from those they aid. They demand respect, cooperation and a certain level on conduct. As they build a relationship with these people, a lot of them come back to work for SOME and are crucial to their organization. At the other site, where much was given, and nothing was expected, it was seen in the attitudes of the people. They became picky, irritable and demanding in regards to what they were given. Not all of them were like this, but a substantial amount were.

It was a great reminder to me. It made me realize that as I go about my job this summer, I need to be receiving as much as I am giving. I need to listen to the stories of the individuals I meet, and I need to learn from them. I need to take what they have to give me, as they receive my gifts as well. They may not have material goods to give me, but a lot of them have life experiences that I don't have. And sometimes, those are even more priceless than any tangible gifts I could provide. If I can keep myself in check, I know I will be able to create relationships that can last for a lifetime.

A Memory of Dory the Fish

The first site that we worked at was a geriatric day care called Downtown Cluster. Downtown Cluster was formed around 20 years ago when the local church saw that the elderly in DC were being neglected. This site is wonderful, and provides entertainment, activities and workshops to Senior Citizens who daily attend their program.

One of the unique parts of Downtown Cluster is that it has a special program called 'The A-Team' (kind of like the movie...but they claim to have had dibs first). The A-Team works with Senior Citizens enrolled with the Downtown Cluster who struggle with Alzheimers. They do simple tasks with them, in an attempt to stimulate their brains and temporarily fight off the disease. It doesn't work permanently. On Monday, our teams task was to simply engage the adults with Alzheimers in conversation and make puzzles with them.

While we were at Downtown Cluster, half of our group left with the A-Team to go to a separate room and work with these adults. I stayed in the main room with the other half. Even though I wasn't able to work with the A-Team hands on, I was still able to have a few casual conversations with them throughout the morning. It really helped me to understand the severity of Alzheimers. I understood the concept of a 10 minute memory as I watched one unfold in front of me.

It was also at Downtown Cluster that I had my big 'teaching moment' of the day. One of the students that we brought with us was named Aaron, and he's an unbelievable pianist. Downtown Cluster had a piano in their main room, and Aaron quickly become a fan-favorite as he played Mozart and Beethoven for the adults by memory. As we were leaving, there was a request that Aaron play one more song as the rest of the group sang along. The song that was requested as the hymn, "All Creatures of Our God and King."

As our group sang, and Aaron played the piano, I was all of a sudden amazed. One of the women on the A-Team, who I had seen clearly struggling with Alzheimers was able to recite every lyric to this hymn from the first word to the last. I got goosebumps all over my arms as I realized that this woman must have so embedded these lyrics into her memory, that despite a disease (literally) eating away her memory, she was able to recite this song as it played for her.

As I was walking out of Downtown Cluster, having watched this woman sing along to an old hymn, I was struck with a question. What is so important to me, and so embedded in my memory that, if I were to have Alzheimers, I would still be able to recall? There is no scientific explanation that I know of that can explain why this woman could remember the lyrics to a hymn when she couldn't recall what she ate for breakfast. The only explanation that I could come up with is that this song, and the meaning behind it, were so important to her, that she remembered.

That morning, I had read Phillipians 2 as my devotions. This is a passage that I read regularly throughout my last semester, and put a high value in. My challenge to myself after experiencing the Downtown Cluster is to take what I place as having 'high value' and to embed it so far into my memory, that if I were to be in the A-Team's position one day, I would still be able to recall a passage such as Phillipians 2...because it means that much to me :)

Welcome to Kansas City

I finally have internet! I only have it for a couple of hours, so I'll see how much I can blog and gather myself in that amount of time :) For my own sake, I'll start off by introducing my first group to the blog :)

My group is made up of 22 adults and students from right outside of Kansas City. They came to CSM on Sunday night, and I unfortunately have to say goodbye to them tomorrow morning. This week, we're staying at a church in Southeast called Anacostia Gospel, and so far I have no complaints :) The difficult part has been no internet, but even that has made me focus on my time here with the group so it has been nice :)

This group is made of 11 boys and 7 girls with 4 leaders. The aspect of them that I have appreciated the most is that they get along better than most groups I will work with this summer. They each come from hard backgrounds, and you would NEVER know it by the way that they live their lives. They are joyful, loud and full of life. They are serious about serving, but filled with youth and I love each of them so much. I'm so sad I'm going to have to say bye to them.

We started this week out by volunteering at "The Downtown Cluster." It is a geriatric daycare. Half of the kids volunteered in the common lounge, and the other half went and worked specifically with older people struggling with Alzeihemers. The kids handled it so well, and I was so proud of them. Since then, we have volunteered at S.O.M.E (serving breakfast at 7 am...yes, I was exhausted :), gone on a prayer walk down H St, an area facing gentrification, worked at St. Thomas More visiting individuals in rehabilitation, volunteered at World Vision DC and prepared food at Thrive, an organization empowering women who have been in difficult life circumstances. Our week wound down by volunteering on a farm in Maryland and doing an Urban Plunge where the group is divided into groups and forced to face homelessness heads-on.

On top of this busy schedule, we have eaten at a Middle Eastern Restaurant, the famous Ben's Chili Bown, a Jamaican Restaurant, and IHOP :)

I have more blogs coming with lessons I've learned from this past week. Trust me...there's a LOT, but for now, I just wanted to remind myself of the basic sites we've been able to visit over the past 4 days :)

"BRB...Be right back :)"

This next week, starting tomorrow (Sunday night) through Friday morning, I will sadly not have any internet access. Detox will definitely be happening, and I might feel some strong withdrawals. I will be hosting a group at a different location, where there is no wi-fi. Because of this, I unfortunately won't be able to update my blog daily. I will still type up entries for myself on Microsoft Word and post them at the end of the week when I get internet again. But, until then, I won't be able to access my blog.

The good news...is that starting Friday night, my posting will be able to resume, and I will be back to the daily blogs :)

Until Friday...Enjoy your week! Love, Steph

Coffee and Jesus...A Church Dream Come True...

I found my family’s dream come true. Tonight, I went to church in the basement of a coffee shop. It was likely the closest location to heaven on Earth that I will come across. The coffee shop is called Ebenezer’s. It’s located right next to Union Station making it easily accessible. Down in the basement is the National Community Church pastured by Mark Batterson…which is where I attended tonight : )

The whole service was great, and I’m excited to go back there on future Saturdays. Rather than provide a play-by-play, I’d rather remember a specific point that was made in the sermon.

The context comes from 2 Corinthians 13:5. The verse is: “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?”

The course of the sermon was a dissection of this verse. The part that resonated with me most strongly was the dissection of the first section of this verse. As the Pastor was speaking of the ‘examine yourselves’ section, he made a reference to James 1:23-25, when James speaks of the Bible as being a mirror.

To be honest, at first, I had NO idea what he was talking about. He said that we should use the Bible as a mirror to ourselves, so that our reflection is that of the word of God. I was so confused. However, as he went on to explain himself, this concept of the ‘mirror’ became my favorite point in the sermon.

As we live out our daily lives, we reflect what is around us in our actions, words and mentality, whether we know it or not. It may be our hometown, our jobs, or the influence of the relationships we value. These factors will automatically influence our choices, our words and our attitudes. We will always reflect ‘something.’ The question that 2 Corinthians 13:5 prompts is, ‘What will my reflection show?’

James tells us that our reflection should show that we are learning and understanding the Bible. This should be the basis for our actions, choices, words and attitudes. As a result of this question, my goal for the next week is to keep Colossians 3:2-3 in mind. It’s a start. I’m thinking that if I can spend this next week keeping my mind of the things above, with my life hidden in the shadow of Christ, hopefully my actions can start to reflect the virtues of this passage. I can’t promise a success, and I can’t promise I won’t slip up. But I can promise that I will be proactive in trying to change my reflection so that when I look in the mirror, I see the Bible being lived out through me over any other influences.

Rest? What's that?

Tonight was a great night for everyone to sit back and relax :) This morning, we practiced (even more) directions. You'd think I'd have the hang of them by now, yet practice is still necessary. After directions, we made our way to another ministry site where we were able to serve in a soup kitchen. I love being able to visit the sites before we bring our groups there, it's awesome gathering our bearings so that we can let the groups see that we know what we're doing...most of the time :)

Later on in the afternoon, we were able to go to Baltimore for an Orioles game. I've never been to Baltimore before, and I must say. I was very impressed. The second picture is the Baltimore Harbor. In an odd way, the area we were in kind of reminded me of Boston. The architecture was very similar, and being on the water certainly helped :)

After dinner, we made our way over to the Orioles stadium. At Orioles stadium, you can bring food into the stadium, without having to make your purchases in the stadium itself. This is great because it changes the whole atmosphere of the stadium. People will set up tents for 3 blocks outside of the stadium and grill food to sell to fans hours before the game starts. I ended up with a homemade Maryland Crab Cake...and was sold. It was absolutely fantastic.

The Orioles ended up losing, but I ended up being able to see a city that I had never visited before. The parts of Baltimore I visited were beautiful, and I loved being able to have a relaxing afternoon. We just got back to DC, and it's late. Needless to say, our week ended simply, but very well :)

While We're on the Topic of Contrasts...

Growing up, I would watch the Amazing Race with my family regularly. It wasn't uncommon for me to talk about how much I would love to participate in that show. This afternoon, I got a taste of what it would be like. The staff was sent on an "Amazing Race" of the city. We divided into 2 teams of 4 and were given 10 locations to try and go to during a period of 6 hours. That's a lot of numbers...but you get the picture :)

During one of our stops at the Ebenezer Cafe, we ate lunch at Union State. The picture on the right is the view from our table. Halfway through our meal, I took this picture because all of a sudden I saw the contrast. If you look below where the floors are divided, you see a pretty generic tourist cafeteria. It has generic tables, colorful columns, and fast food. But...if you look above the dividers, you see the beautiful architecture that Union Station is known you. There are umbrellas in front of restaurants, (clearly for aesthetic purposes...since I doubt it rains inside). There are trees instead of murals on columns, and there is an elaborate, and beautiful ceiling. I've been to Union Station multiple times. These differences between the first floor and the second floor have always been there, the station hasn't changed. I just didn't see the contrasting levels of a luxurious eating area and a common cafeteria coexisting until I looked for them.

This changed my approach to the rest of the afternoon. As we guided ourselves around (literally) the whole city...I started to see the contrasts that I have been passing everyday, because today I decided to look for them.





The picture on the left is the backyard of the Anacostia Art Gallery in Southeast DC. This afternoon, my group walked into the Art Gallery and had a great conversation with one of the owners of the Gallery. She was wonderful, and has a heart for poetry and travel. On the right of the picture is a stage with an African theme for decorations, and the garden is actually an ancestral garden. Southeast, and especially Anacostia can sometimes have to battle a reputation of being a rougher area of the city. This reputation isn't entirely true...in fact some of Capitol Hill is technically considered Southeast. Regardless, this oasis in the middle of Anacostia was beautiful, and so unique to it's neighborhood.

The picture on the right is the front of a house near the National Cathedral in Northwest DC. The location alone, in comparison to Southeast DC should give you an idea for it's reputation. It is about as far away from Southeast as you get. This neighborhood has affluent houses, and is held in much higher regards than Southeast. In fact, from this neighborhood, and the National Cathedral, we were able to walk to the Naval Observatory, which houses the Vice President. Down the street is Mass Ave, which is also named Embassy Row, because it is the major location for a majority of the embassies in DC.

As the picture show, and hopefully my explanations articulate, DC most certainly has contrasts. Today, as we navigated ourselves around the city, I saw sites that I now see regularly. However, today I saw rich and poor segregated by their neighborhoods. I saw white and black on different bus routes I rode. I saw Catholic and Protestant as I went to the Cathedral, the Basilica and Ebenezers cafe (which houses a church in the basement). I even saw Political and an NGO as I volunteered at Food and Friends (providing ill people with healthy foods) then walked by the Capitol building.

What I saw when I actually opened my eyes today was absolutely amazing to me . To say the least, I definitely had a wake up call as I go about the city these next couple of months. Today, I saw how my preconceived notions interfere with my perceptions of the city and it's neighborhoods. Hopefully, I'll be able to find a way to overcome those obstacles in the future so that I can truly experience the city :)